The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

After months as interim police commissioner, Sylvester Johnson gets job for good. Mayor finally got tired of the "thufferin' thuccotath" jokes. Plus 4

South Philly man once found hiding under bed of mob boss Joey Merlino's wife is found guilty in beating incident. Soon to be hiding under beds for entirely different reason. Plus 1

Despite recent political difficulties, Mayor Street tells Inquirer he's doing well. "Don't let nobody fool you -- this brother is running this interview! Running it!" Plus 1

School Reform Commission goes to court to prevent student protesters from blocking entrances to Board of Education building. SRC then turns matter over to Edison, which labels its work "Civics 101" and charges state $50 million. Minus 3

Peregrine falcons that've lived in Center City the last five years seem to be missing. Councilman DiCicco makes pointed "moved to the suburbs to avoid the wage tax" joke; Mayor Street rolls eyes. Minus 1

Eagles surprise fans by taking three defensive backs, a position in which they seem to be well-stocked, in NFL draft. Move reveals coach Andy Reid's method: "The fans are always wrong." Minus 1

Former high-ranking cop tells Inquirer that the department had an unwritten policy not to pursue sexual-abuse claims against clergymen. Also points out that Inquirer used to have similar policy. Plus 1

Cop arrested after allegedly threatening fellow officer with his gun during an argument. Rookie learns a valuable lesson: never, ever take the last doughnut. Minus 1

Total pluses: 7

Total minuses: 6

Score for the week: 1

Last week’s score: -7

-- Respond to this article in our Forums -- click to jump there