Also this issue: firstlook -A.D. Amorosi

October 17-23, 2002

food

Hurry Up and Wait

Slow and unsteady loses the race: Prosciutto, mozzarella and tomato sandwich on focaccia at Cafe Monticello. Photo By: Michael T. Regan

Decent food but slooow service at Cafe Monticello.

by Daryl Gale

Maybe you like long (and I mean really long), lingering lunches. If so, hurry on over to Cafe Monticello in Old City. Winding our way past the half-dozen or so tables out on the sidewalk, this month’s version of City Paper’s rotating lunch bunch, Howard Altman, Debra Auspitz, Nancy Armstrong and yours truly made our way to one of the 13 tables inside the narrow restaurant.

The place is certainly nice enough inside, with lots of abstract oil paintings, mostly from an artist named Gordon, and really cute metal light fixtures of planes and hot-air balloons, with clouds painted on the ceiling completing the aerial theme. While the hostess was in a sour mood, our server was sweet and pleasant, but seemed to disappear for inordinately long stretches and was oblivious to our wild gestures for attention when she finally did walk past our table. Howard at one point actually suggested I stick my foot in the aisle to trip her. Sophomoric, yes, but tempting, considering that nothing else seemed to work.

The food was fine, but certainly nothing to write home about. Maybe part of it was the inexcusable length of time it took to get any grub, including bread for the table. For appetizers, Howard ordered the frittura di calamari ($7), which was really quite tasty. Unlike the deep fried rubber bands you often get when ordering squid rings, the calamari was not chewy at all. Even Nancy and I, who don't usually like the stuff, raved about the tender, lightly battered little morsels, served with a just-spicy-enough marinara dipping sauce. I ordered the pasta e fagioli ($4), which was a good if unremarkable soup with beans and pasta, tomatoes and prosciutto. We all shared the le pizze mare ($8), a small white pizza topped with mozzarella, shrimp, clams and more calamari. We generally agreed that the taste was good, but the pizza was so soaked in oil that it was limp and soaking wet. Not a very appetizing characteristic for pizza, no matter how tasty.

For our entrees, Debra had the pollo con gamberi ($12), chicken with garlic sauce and shrimp.

"The shrimp and chicken were a bit dry, but the flavor of the garlic sauce was great, and had a really good kick to it," said our favorite arts editor. Howard ordered the linguini pescatore ($11), with shrimp, crab meat, tomatoes and garlic, which he described as "a passable blend of seafood in a tomato and wine sauce. The shrimp were slightly overcooked, the lump crab indistinguishable. Not bad, but nothing special for the price, either."

Nancy had the pollo padella ($11), a chicken dish with portobello mushrooms, artichokes and asparagus. Unlike Debra's, Nancy says her chicken was "tender and juicy, and the veggies were fresh-tasting if not fresh-looking. Yummy but standard." I opted for the scaloppine al shiitake ($11), veal medallions in Madeira wine sauce with shiitake mushrooms. The medallions were small but tender and tasty, and the mushrooms were very fresh. It was also cold. OK, not cold, but not anywhere near warm either. That, of course, could also be the result of sitting in the kitchen for a good while before the dishes came to the table.

All the entrees came with rice and broccoli, the former of which was chewy and bland. "School cafeteria-ish" was how Deb described it, and we all tended to agree.

By the time our server brought out the dessert tray, it was nearly suppertime. (All right, maybe it just seemed that way.) Nancy had the chocolate peanut butter cake, Deb had the triple chocolate mousse, Howard went with the cream puff, and I had the rum cake. We all agreed the desserts were good, but rather plain, and at $6 each, way overpriced. It was also quite clear that none of the desserts were made on the premises. In addition, my rum cake had a crumb crust on the outside that was easily the most unappetizing thing I have ever tasted. And for a guy who'll eat just about anything, that is a serious indictment. I'd describe the flavor of that crust, but my 13-year-old daughter will probably read this, and I don't want her to know her daddy uses those kinds of words.

Finally, after two interminable hours, we got our check. Howard took it and then played a game of "guess how much." We all underestimated the bill by a minimum of $30. The tab for lunch for the four of us came to a surprising $111.57, before tip.

All in all, the food at Monticello is good but not memorable (with the exception of that crumb crust), but the service was painfully slow and the menu a bit overpriced. As for the sour mood of our hostess, maybe she was having a bad day, or maybe she was just tired of standing on her feet and smiling. My guess, though, is that she tried the rum cake.