Also this issue: Whittle Me This How does Edison Schools expect to get away with it all? -Jonathan M. Stein Judgment Day Common Pleas Court Judge William Mazzola's now-famous courtroom scolding of convicted murderer Ira Einhorn. -William Mazzola Letters to the Editor Saddam It All -Howard Altman

October 24-30, 2002

loose canon

Massive Masquerade

by Bruce Schimmel

Austin Powers is out, SpongeBob SquarePants is in and Osama bin Laden never was, nor is he ever likely to be.

That's the lowdown on this year's lineup of most popular kid costumes for Halloween, a holiday that is now outpaced only by Christmas in money spent on decorating the home. In 1995, Americans spent $2.5 billion on the holiday. This year a trade group, The National Retail Federation, is predicting an outlay of $6.9 billion to pay for costumes, decorations and treats. That's a lot of candy corn.

I love Halloween, don't you? And I think we'd have to credit the baby boomers for renovating the masquerade party for adults -- though the tradition of dressing up has never flagged among Mummers.

Still, mature adults in the 1950s through the '90s didn't dress up like they do today. To find a suitable costume for adults, you used to have to go to a specialty costume store. Now Target stores stock racks of adult outfits to retrofit your ego.

This year, the soothsayers predict that gangsters and Bond girls (as in James Bond) will be popular for those who are old enough to drive themselves to Halloween fun. Seventies-type outfits -- from hippies to disco -- will continue to be popular, even if the Austin Powers rage is running out of steam.

I expect, as well, that there is a sharp demographic drop-off in '70s gear between younger adults and older adults, following my friend Gerald's rule that if you wore something the first time, you have no business ever wearing it again.

Such rules, of course, do not apply to certain varieties of well-preserved dinosaurs. Goldie Hawn or Susan Sarandon come to mind. And in my mind's bloodshot eye, I can see myself dressing up like Sean Connery, the James Bond original -- even if in real life both the actor and I are looking more aboriginal with each passing year.

To be perfectly candid, I've been in the Halloween closet for a couple of years, so this season will be something of a coming-out. It's been a trial to come up with a suitable disguise. When I asked a few of my friends what I should don for this occasion, many answered with a look of puzzlement. This could be attributed to the plethora of curious roles -- some bordering on masquerade -- that characterize my life every day. But that's an issue for another time.

My spouse came to the rescue. Why not Boris, the diminutive Russian spy from Rocky and Bullwinkle? My wife, a svelte six-footer, was obviously thinking about a slinky number in her closet that she could wear as Natasha.

As for me, well, at least I could hide under the little guy's big, black hat.