Also this issue: Icepack -A.D. Amorosi

February 13-19, 2003

naked city

The Dating Game

Wham, bam, thank you maâam: Tom Shannon and Mary Toth take six minutes to get to know one another at a Pre-Dating event at Buffalo Billiards. Photo By: Michael T. Regan

CP takes speed-dating for a test drive.

by Helen i-lin Hwang

The first time I got ready to go speed-dating, I showered, flat-ironed my hair and sprayed on perfume. I hadn't been on a date with a complete stranger in a long time. I was going alone since my two single friends both had other things to do, or so they told me. Too late for me because I had already signed up to participate in this popular phenomenon, best summed up as group blind dating.

In this age when Joe Millionaire and The Bachelorette are hit television shows, dating dozens of people simultaneously is acceptable behavior. In fact, according to HurryDate's founder, Ken Deckinger, a "Los Angeles rabbi first came up with the idea of speed-dating about three years ago as a way to promote marriage among Jewish singles."

I bet the rabbi never thought it might be a way to break up a marriage. See, I'm already married, but I was on my way to meet a bunch of men. Anything for a story, right?

When I arrived at London Grill 20 minutes early, I was surprised to find a long line already forming to register for HurryDate. Men, hanging out at the bar by themselves, began drifting toward the line as the number of women began to multiply. By the end, 50 men and women were swarming around the small back room. Since there were already enough women signed up, I bowed out in a moment of ethical clarity.

Even before the dating officially began, singles were already chatting each other up, as they sat at small tables identified by a single letter from the alphabet.

The hostesses, Jaimie and Nicole, explained how the game would work: Each couple would have three minutes to "date." When Nicole blew the whistle, the men would get up and move to the subsequent letter in the alphabet. Each participant was identified by first name and a number on his or her nametag.

Let the games begin: The energy was high, animated and lively. I stood next to a table with a couple, straining to eavesdrop, but I had trouble overhearing their conversation.

Nicole noticed one table had a missing woman. She turned to me and offered, "Do you want to jump in?" Without hesitation, I said "Sure!" For the story's sake, I once again justified to myself.

I began "dating." Most of the guys seemed to be nice, straight types with steady jobs who didn't live in Center City. Many were already thinking of long-term plans, like the one who lived in the suburbs because it's a nice place to raise kids. What kids, I asked? He didn't have any yet, he admitted.

And then there were some more oddball candidates. No. 69 (his actual number) supplied dildos to adult boutiques. I met a police sergeant who patrolled my neighborhood. Another man named Paul even had an engagement ring ready to go.

How could I tell whether I had real chemistry with any of them? Could we converse for 30 minutes, much less 30 years? I was wondering what sort of first impression my hubby would make. His appearance is sometimes unruly and he's not the snappiest dresser. When the rounds finished, I didn't turn in my evaluation sheet so I couldn't find out who matched with me. I figured this was the end of my harmless affairs.

The next night, I saw Paul again at a different dating service called Pre-Dating, held at Billy Wong's in Old City. I asked him again about his pret-a-porter ring, when sometimes it takes women years to procure them from their boyfriends. He confessed it was the same ring he gave to his first wife. He was divorced now so he had no problem giving it to someone else. I wished him luck in finding a woman who would accept his first wife's engagement ring.

Pre-Dating involves six-minute dates, allowing for more whimsical questions like, "Do you like black olives?" (overheard from an attractive blonde woman). Other similar organizations include 8minuteDating and MiniDate. Even The Restaurant School offers micro-dating along with dinner and wine. Another alternative is Dinner with Friends, hosted by Lucy's Hat Shop, where a group of female friends is introduced to a group of male friends for drinks and dinner.

After several days, my curiosity finally overcame me. Did anyone want to date me? I was trying to be good by not finding out who might be interested. I called the HurryDate people and said I needed to know if anyone picked me as material for my article. Sixteen had.

It was amazing how enthusiastic all the participants were since I wasn't even trying or was I?! That night, I confessed to the hubby that I had called for my matches. My girlfriends missed out on a terrific bunch of men and a great number of dates.

HurryDate, 25 three-minute dates, $35, includes gay dating and African-American dating nights, www.hurrydate.com; Pre-dating, six-minute dates, $28, www.pre-dating.com; 8minuteDating, 8 eight-minute dates, $24-$38, includes hors d’oeuvres, www.8minutedate.com; MiniDate, 10-20 six-minute dates, $25, www.minidate.com; Dinner with Friends at Lucy’s Hat Shop, 5-7 singles per group, includes two-hour open bar and three-course meal, $25, call Kathryn Dery at 215-413-1433 or e-mail kathryndery@aol.com; Micro-Dating at The Restaurant School, 6-7 seven-minute dates, includes wine and five-course meal, $40, 215-222-4200.