Also this issue: The Winds of War What will happen in Philly when Baghdad burns. -Deborah Bolling, Daniel Brook, Paul Burress and Daryl Gale D'oh! -Mary F. Patel

March 20-26, 2003

the bell curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

City Council suspends salary of Melanie Hopkins while she's investigated for alleged abuse of fiance and boss Councilman Longstreth. If she can't still wheel his catatonic ass in for critical votes, what good is she? Plus 1

Mayor Street kicks off re-election campaign by touting accomplishments. List includes marching in every parade since election season began and "showing up almost on time to talk to you people." Plus 1

Rabid raccoon caught in Grays Ferry. Black and white community leaders blame each other. Minus 1

City shuts down rock club The Khyber and dance club Adrenaline over alleged code violations. Young people forced to spend weekends in code-violation-riddled apartment buildings owned by campaign contributors. Minus 2

Teen who beat dog with bat last summer ordered to remain in juvenile facility at least another four months. Fox's production of When Animals Attack Animals put on hold. Plus 1

Mayor promises city will fill every pothole. Microphone picks up muttered aside: "With Sam Katz's pasty white ass." Plus 4

Feds investigating alleged parking-ticket fixing and other corruption involving city and state officials, Inquirer reports. So like a Philly pol to misuse power in such a trivial way. Minus 3

Eagles lose star defensive end Hugh Douglas to free agency. Shrewd move -- team can choke in the NFC championship game just as effectively without him. Minus 3

Antiwar protesters block traffic in Center City. "What do we want?" "Widespread and arbitrary inconveniencing of average working-class citizens!" "When do we want it?" "Now!" Minus 4

Total pluses: 7

Total minuses: 13

Score for the week: -6

Last week’s score: -4