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Also this issue: Who Shot John? Gale Warning Turf Wars Gunsmoke |
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June 19-25, 2003
the bell curve
City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life
Trying to eliminate $55-million deficit, SEPTA may stop giving riders courtesy vouchers for late service. The next step is halting the production of those expensive train schedules. Minus 3
Phillies announce that the new stadium will be called Citizens Bank Park. No veterans will be allowed in. Minus 1
Local Boy Scout council reverses its "nondiscrimination" policy, says it won't allow openly gay people to join their organization. But it will offer a merit badge for suppression. Minus 5
Drive-by BB gun attackers terrorize city over the weekend. Suspects were believed to have been hyper after drinking 40s of root beer. Minus 3
A bureaucrat from Administrative Adjudication threw out $6.1 million in parking tickets for politically connected people over the past six years, says Daily News. Angel Ortiz demands a recount. Minus 3
London-style double-decker buses begin giving tours around city. Should make for excellent attack position on the quacking Duck people. Plus 2
City issues Northeast Philadelphians $25 fines for not cutting their grass. Dis is what happens when ya wooder yer lawn, yous guys. Minus 1
Environmental report says South Philly and Southwest Philly residents may be breathing in harmful chemicals. South Philly reports upswing in "pull my finger" jokes. Minus 2
Milton Street changes his mind, says he won’t withdraw from the $1.2-million airport contract. "I need the money," says Milton. "My brother told me I have to start paying my parking tickets now, and last week I got a ticket for not mowing my damn lawn." Minus 2
Total pluses: 2
Total minuses: 20
Score for the week: -18
Last week’s score: -4
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