Also this issue: Don't Stop, Just Go A South Philly neighborhood has an uphill fight against a malt liquor shop. -Daryl Gale Gale Warning Katz Scratchin' and Keel Haulin' -Daryl Gale fineprint Less words, more story. The District -Mary F. Patel

July 17-23, 2003

the bell curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Philly's status as the fifth largest city may be lost to Phoenix by the end of 2004. Damn it! Minus 10

Two-and-a-half-foot alligator found in West Philly. "I was just on my way to Phoenix," says gator. Plus 2

City says it will soon deal with the underground dump in Southwest Philly that's been burning since last summer. Original plans calling for the release of fire-eating alligators didn't work out. Plus 1

At the behest of the Daily News' "Stinkmeister," SEPTA begins cleaning up its smelliest properties. Apparently the articles written by the "Getyourfuckingbusestorunontimemeister" have had no effect. Plus 4

Having won a lawsuit filed by the Princess of Wales Memorial Fund over the right to make Diana memorabilia, the Franklin Mint is now countersuing, causing the Fund to reduce charitable donations. But stay tuned for commemorative plates honoring the people blown up by land mines while the Fund's money is tied up in court. Minus 6

City contemplates construction of skate park behind Art Museum. As a tie-in, Museum plans to acquire Duchamp’s Dude Descending a Half-Pipe. Plus 3

Archbishop Cardinal Bevilacqua resigns; Pope appoints archbishop from St. Louis to replace him. Milton Street complains that he never got a chance to apply. Minus 2

Fire damages Woodford Mansion, a national landmark from the 18th century in Fairmount Park. City mourns loss of historic treasures viewed by dozens of visitors each year. Minus 3

Edison, the company that manages 20 Philadelphia schools, announced plans to buy back its stock and go private again. More details about the buyback can be found in Chapter 11. Even

Total pluses: 10

Total minuses: 21

Score for the week: -11

Last week’s score: -14