… And All of the Night

by Alex Koppelman

New Year's Eve is the biggest partying night of the year, and I have plans. Two 40-ounce bottles of malt liquor for the preparations, and a $5 bottle of domestic champagne to go with the new Jenna Jameson video at midnight. Anyone who wants to join me is welcome, of course, but if not, here's a roundup of the parties that might make your night almost as good as mine.

There are some people in Philly who are convinced that to celebrate the dawn of 2004, they should be up in the Big Apple partying with Paris. If you're one of those, but missed your Jersey Transit train, Denim is the place for you. The new hot spot for the members of Philadelphia's elite (by which we mean Allen Iverson), Denim's New Year's Eve party will feature a five-hour open bar, butlered hors d'oeuvres and a champagne toast at midnight (Wed., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $100, Denim, 1712 Walnut St., 1-800-NEW-YEAR).

Of course, not everyone can go out until 2 a.m. drinking, but the 8-year-old jetsetters still need somewhere to show off their partying skills. Thank God for the Please Touch Museum -- they'll be counting down the new year from noon until 1 p.m. on Dec. 31 so that the kiddies can get in on the party hats, noisemakers and search for a kiss as the ball drops (Fri., Dec. 31, noon-1 p.m., free with regular admission of $8.95 age 1 and older, Please Touch Museum, 210 N. 21st St., 215-963-0666).

If Mommy and Daddy will let you out past midnight, but you're still a kid at heart, I have something for you, too. There's nothing like a little ice skating to bring back old memories, and that's exactly what the Blue Cross RiverRink wants you to do this New Year's Eve. There'll be live music, food and a view of New Jersey and the fireworks. (Wed., Dec. 31, 11 p.m.-1 a.m., $15-$25, Blue Cross RiverRink at Penn's Landing, Columbus Blvd. and Spring Garden St., 215-925-RINK.)

But not every New Year's event should be alcohol-free. And by not every, I mean anything that will be intensely awkward without it. Like, say, speed dating, where you're set up on multiple blind dates, rotating after eight minutes. It's funny, that reminds me of this party I went to once, where umm, never mind. (Wed., Dec. 31, 7 p.m.-1 a.m., $75, call for location, 888-348-5544).

There's my personal favorite of the night -- a party at the Constitution Center, so you can get drunk with seven open bars and butlered and buffeted hors d'oeuvres while learning history at the same time. My suggestion -- take a shot every time you see a picture of Richard Nixon (Wed., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-1 a.m., $125, National Constitution Center, 525 Arch St., 215-487-2274).

And if all that partying has left you feeling less than yourself, let the good doctor give a little advice. My prescription? Take three Vicodin, two Bloody Marys, watch men from South Philly dressed in bright outfits and call me in the afternoon. (Thu., Jan. 1, 9 a.m., free, Mummers Parade (pictured), South Broad St. and Washington Ave. to City Hall.)

--Alex Koppelman

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