January 15-21, 2004

food

Catching Some Ziti

Is the moon made of cheese?: Lamberti's appetizers include lightly fried mozzarella mezza luna. Photo By: Michael T. Regan

Plateloads of pasta at Lamberti's can't seem to keep us awake.

by Brian Hickey

I got to thinking the other day -- which, some may say, is an accomplishment in and of itself. The scene was Lamberti's Cucina, the faux, well, cucina across the street from the Ritz Five near Second and Walnut. The topic was Thanksgiving football, or, more specifically, the unfortunate triptophanic effect that regularly renders me asleep every Turkey Day, which is a problem because, by the time I wake up, the pitiful Dallas Cowboys are already behind by 20 points. It bothers me because I enjoy watching the Cowboys getting their asses kicked.

Mine wasn't exactly a Kissinger-esque thought process as my dining partners discussed important issues like the mayor's race, but there's something to be said about gorging on pasta in the middle of the afternoon. As in, you really shouldn't do it unless you can write off the rest of the day to stomach-filled-with-heavy-food syndrome.

So there we were last Monday afternoon, trying to figure out what to sample. The lunch rush had already ended and there couldn't have been more than two other tables filled. As we soon found out, there couldn't have been half a kitchen staffed either.

Playing in the background, as staff writer Amy L. Webb put it, was some "sort of wacky, Muzak-infused jazz track." In front of us were menus loaded with a variety of Italian meals, slickly referred to by their Tuscan nomenclature. (Pollo, I can proudly tell you from my high-school Spanish education, is chicken.)

To get things started, the $16 Mangia Italiano combination of three appetizers was the way to go. Our pre-meal trio included fried calamari (regularly $9), mussels Lamberti ($10) and mozzarella mezza luna (a $7 plate of moon-shaped mozzarella patties).

Before we could even get to the entrees, dissension was in the air.

Let's start with the calamari, described on the menu as "tender" and "lightly fried." I may be no Emeril (thankfully), but I know calamari. Went through a phase that whenever my girlfriend and I went out to eat, a plate of squid was never too far away. And I gotta tell ya, Lamberti's did these right.

While the coating tended to fall off rather easily, this calamari didn't have a Michelin vibe. Said Amy, "This wasn't deep-fried so much that it resembled greasy rubber bands." Editor Howard Altman added that it was "tender and tasty." Staff writer Deborah Bolling cast a dissenting vote of "sliced too thick." The other finger foods weren't all that memorable, but then again, finger foods probably shouldn't be. (Except when they take too long on their voyage from the kitchen, which these -- and the entrees -- did.)

In all, the meal took an unacceptable 90-some minutes from beginning to end. So we got to the entrees a good 45 minutes after ordering, which really isn't all that great when you have a job to get back to. (The waitress with an indeterminate foreign accent, however, was friendly and quick to offer beverage refills.)

Let's start with the positive. I went with the $9 baked ziti Sicilian, complete with fresh ricotta, creamy mozzarella, basil, tomato sauce and marinated and roasted eggplant. The pasta was cooked just right, the sauce had just enough kick and the cheese was perfectly melted. I intended to carry some out, but it was so good, I scarfed down the ample portion in its entirety.

Unfortunately, it seemed as if I was the lone diner who left completely happy. Deborah, for instance, went with the sliced tuna wrapped in pesto flatbread ($9), a meal she wouldn't reorder because "the tuna was overcooked and the balsamic-oil dressing was heavy." Senior writer Daryl Gale went, with gusto, for the $13.95 daily special: filet mignon on mashed potatoes topped with crab meat and gorgonzola cheese.

While Howard joked that gorgonzola tastes like feet, Daryl disagreed: "Feet taste much better. The steak was overdone. I ordered it medium and it arrived very well-done. ¨ It was cut so thin that it was impossible to tell if it was really filet or just a flank steak from Pathmark."

Not sated by the appetizer mussels, Howard went with the $14 zuppe di pesce, with mussels, clams and shrimp in a wine garlic broth over linguine. "It was fairly mundane," he reported. "The mussels were overcooked and the shrimp were nearly microscopic."

For Amy, who ordered ravioli with spinach and shrimp ($9), shrimp was also an issue. The problem? "Must have been those microscopic brine shrimp, you know, the ones from biology class, because I couldn't find any with the naked eye," she said.

All in all, I'd probably grab a quick bite at one of the Cucina's numerous locations in the Delaware Valley, if I happened to pass by and had some time to burn, but in that sentiment I was apparently alone. I just wish I had waddled out with some of that ziti.

Lamberti’s Cucina

212 Walnut St., 215-238-0499

Sun.-Thu., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m.-11 p.m.

Appetizers, $2-$16; entrees, $7-$17

Not wheelchair accessible. Smoking section provided. Reservations not necessary. All major credit cards.