Helene Eksterowicz reads and discusses

by A.D. Amorosi

One of the most mean-spirited aspects of "reality" dating programs like The Bachelor -- along with the audiences' observation that its men are strappers and its women are dolts -- is the rejection built into the catty competition. (That very meanness is probably why I bother watching them.) Along with having to cut each others' throats and suck face with strangers as if it were last call, needy women of all stripes are summarily dispensed with by some jerk-off, who hands out 25-cent roses as if they were doubloons. Dag, even Donald Trump has the graciousness to be blunt with his victims. But no: These women thrive on the embarrassment of being let go by cheap haircuts masquerading as monied studs.

Not too surprisingly, Philly-area contestants Helene Eksterowicz and Gwen Gioia, who both made it high in the ranks of Bachelor-dom, seem to have come through their experiences in love and floral arrangements unscathed, so much so they've written a lighthearted but stirringly sarcastic sex guide about it titled Nobody's Perfect (CDs Books). It ain't, in terms of its lit value, Foucault's Pendulum. But the girls answer questions about overcoming the bad and ugly parts of any relationship -- old, new, with network television cameras blaring -- with dignity, snarkiness and a sense of femme-empowered reaffirmation. Ladies: Stop listening to those Shania Twain records. And fuck Aaron Buerge. Buy this book.

Helene Eksterowicz reads and discusses Nobody’s Perfect, Sat., Feb. 7, 2 p.m., Borders, King of Prussia Mall, 650 Mall Blvd., King of Prussia, 610-337-9009.

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