April 1- 7, 2004

the bell curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Knee injury ends Allen Iverson’s season. Chris Ford seen handing an envelope to Jeff Gillooly.

Minus 1

Security reconfiguration at Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell now funnels all visitors through one entrance on Market Street. "Welcome to the birthplace of freedom," says guard at the gate. "Now please disrobe and bring two forms of ID to the guy dressed like Thomas Jefferson."

Minus 3

Chaka and Demba, the Philly Zoo’s gorilla couple, will be split up after five years without producing any offspring. Maybe they shouldn’t have spent all that time spanking the monkey.

Minus 2

Wife of mounted police officer starts the Citizens to Save the Horses Committee to keep city from eliminating horseriding police force. "My husband has been mounted for years and he loves it," she says.

Plus 2

Delimar Vera’s parents sell the story of their daughter to TV movie producer. Minutes later they sell another version of the story to a different network.

Minus 1

PennDot drops $5 billion in bridge and highway projects from its itinerary. Actually, some of the bridges will just drop on their own.

Minus 2

According to Daily News, state troopers have clocked Gov. Rendell’s limo going faster than 100 mph "at least nine times since November." Actually, the car was moving too fast to get the license plate number, so they had to follow the trail of hoagie debris.

Minus 4

After great run, St. Joe’s loses to Oklahoma State in fourth round of NCAA tournament.

Minus 7

Total pluses: 2

Total minuses: -20

Score for the week: -18

Last week's score: 20