April 29-May 5, 2004

the bell curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

State troopers were ordered to transport cartons of Italian bread from Harrisburg to their commander in Hershey, Daily News reports. Or was that just a coverup for Harrisburg-based "Operation Get Rendell Krackle"?

Minus 2

Feud between Q102 and Wired 96.5 leads to on-air pranks and sneaking bumper stickers onto each others vans. Isn't that how al-Qaeda got started?

Plus 1

Beyonce joins boyfriend Jay-Z at the Beanie Sigel trial. Judge asked her to leave, saying "I don't think you're ready for this jury."

Plus 6

Smarty Jones, a horse from New Hope, has the chance to be the first undefeated Kentucky Derby champion on Saturday. And there's also a good chance he'll show up at the race wearing overpriced beads and smelling like patchouli.

Plus 4

Fans of Hack rally to save the doomed show. Fans of Cold Case laugh at them.

Plus 1

Twenty-three people in West Philadelphia are arrested for bootlegging music and movies. Damn, now where are we gonna get our shaky, blurry copies of Chocolat?

Plus 1

Villanova selects Big Bird to be their commencement speaker, amid protests from students. 'Nova kids demand he publicly shun Bert and Ernie.

Plus 7

Howard Eskin voices his dismay on having to walk among the fans to the press box at Citizens Bank Park. Phillies apologize, promise to build a separate entrance for douchebags.

Minus 2

Total pluses: 20

Total minuses: 4

This week's total: 16

Last week's total: -1