May 6-12, 2004

the bell curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Local horse Smarty Jones wins the Kentucky Derby. Plus 10

Real World cast heckled and taunted with Eagles chant first night in town. Those union guys sure can hold a grudge. Minus 1

Prospective homeowners camp out outside South Philly real estate office to get dibs on new housing development. After getting in the wrong line, a few buyers mistakenly spend their life savings on a pair of Madonna tickets. Plus 1

Clerk at the Bureau of Administrative Adjudication is fired for taking free parking vouchers. Go directly to jail. Plus 1

Comcast says it's no longer pursuing Disney. Disney says it doesn't know why, but it suddenly finds Comcast a little more attractive. Minus 1

Drexel begins "mini-medical school" program, an eight week course that offers surgery, laboratory and emergency room experiences. Well, this should help our malpractice problem. Plus 1

Jesse Jackson speaks out against gun violence in West Philly barbershop. Barber thanks him, charges him $8 for the haircut. Plus 2

City may save $3.1 million by selling ice rinks, swimming pools and recreation centers. Philly's soul is also up for auction on eBay, no reserve. Minus 5

Rittenhouse Square restaurateurs like Georges Perrier upset that a Quiznos will open up a block away. "I would prefer an Applebee's," says Perrier, "for I enjoy eatin' good in the neighbor." Plus 1

Daily News reports decline in prostitution on Kensington Ave. since it started publishing photos of accused johns. City Paper does its part by running pictures of the hookers each week. Thanks for reading! Plus 1

Total pluses: 17

Total minuses: -7

This week's total: 10

Last week's total: 16