The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Southwest Airlines officially comes to Philly. That's exactly what this city needs: one-way flights. Plus 5

The Real World kids will be working for Bon Jovi's arena football team, the Philadelphia Soul. They'll sit in the stands to double attendance. Even

The Daily News prints an article "written" by Derby-winning horse Smarty Jones. The piece displays an internal logic and thematic depth not normally associated with the People Paper. Minus 1

The local FBI and U.S. Attorney’s offices conduct a "field exercise" featuring a mock bioterrorist attack. Event marred by repeated arguments among agents over who gets to play Jack Bauer. Plus 2

Out-of-towner buys lot at 10th and South and gives artist Isaiah Zagar until May 23 to remove his decorative mural from the property. The Lilliputians line up to get their mirrors back. Minus 7

Overbrook High's mock trial team takes part in national championships. School's trial mockery team won't give them a moment's peace. Plus 2

The city's only indoor skate park will shut down until the fall in order to install adequate air-conditioning and sound systems. In our day, we skated in 110-degree heat with transistor radios, and the halfpipes were only uphill one way and we liked it. Minus 2

Hundreds gather in Love Park to protest arts funding cuts. Vomiting homeless man mistaken for performance artist, applauded. Plus 5

Flyers crush Tampa Bay 6-2, tying the series at one heading back to Philadelphia. Plus 5

Total pluses: 19

Total minuses: 10

This week's total: 9

Last week's total: 10

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