July 29-August 4, 2004

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

John Kerry's "freedom trail" to the Democratic Convention in Boston includes a stop in Philly. Crowd boos Kerry after mistaking him for Smarty Jones.
Plus 5

The bright blue fence around SEPTA's Fifth and Market El stop is a garish eyesore, says the Independence Mall Business and Residents Coalition. They prefer a dull gray eyesore, like the fence around Independence Hall.
Minus 1

Allen Iverson named co-captain of U.S. Olympic team. We're guessing the other guy will run practices.
Plus 7

The feared "snakehead" fish has been found in a South Philly pond. Even scarier: There's a pond in South Philly.
Minus 3

A policeman fired after shoplifting in 1996 is allowed to return to the force. "He's the only shoplifter we've ever caught," says Commissioner Sylvester Johnson. "We're hiring him to sit in our trophy case."
Plus 1

Activist veterinary group barred from the American Veterinary Medical Association's conference at the Convention Center. You just know the activist vets have fleas.
Minus 3

Passengers complain of long delays waiting to take the ferry to Camden. Then they get there and the real complaining begins.
Minus 1

Mayor Street outlines plan for tougher ethics standards for city officials, including a ban on gifts. Anna Verna quits, since the Pollyanna was her last official responsibility.
Plus 2

The captain of a Turkish cargo ship is arrested after he told the Coast Guard his boat would blow up when it arrived in Philadelphia. "I don't know how to park one of these things," he explains.
Minus 4

Total pluses: 15
Total minuses: 12
This week's total: 3
Last week's total: 3