The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Tourist is fined $75 after her son pees in a flower bed near Independence Hall. But piss all over the Constitution Center and you very well may get a second term in office.
Minus 1

Daily News calls Beenie Man a "meanie" for writing songs about killing homosexuals. "Touché," says Beenie Man. "Your clever zinger has made me rethink my hateful ways. Thank you, anonymous rhyming-headline writer."
Minus 5

City politicians oppose plan to build a security and bathroom facility on Independence Square. Apparently we're making a lot of money fining tourists for public urination.
Even

Bush signs an order for a second board to investigate SEPTA's labor dispute with Regional Rail conductors. Accuses Kerry of being "soft on trains."
Plus 2

Philly has a problem with legally purchased guns being resold illegally, says Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson. Guns don't kill people. People who buy guns from people who buy guns kill people.
Minus 7

Motorcycle accident injuries and deaths are on the rise in Philly since Gov. Rendell repealed a state helmet law a year ago. On the plus side, it's a lot easier to get a table at Tattooed Mom's.
Minus 7

Jay-Z's Roc-a-Fella Records will send ice cream trucks around Philly and other cities through August to give away treats. The masses are said to be clamoring for the Peedi Crakk-sicle and the Beanie Sigel Choco-Taco.
Plus 5

Phillies Kevin Millwood and Pat Burrell placed on disabled list; both could miss remainder of season. Philadelphians are about to learn the meaning of addition by subtraction.
Even

Total pluses: 7
Total minuses: 20
This week's total: -13
Last week's total: -24

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