August 19-25, 2004

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Dee Snider now a DJ for WMMR. Old man upstairs from 'MMR studio yells, shakes fist.
Plus 3

The NHL is investigating Jeremy Roenick's gambling habits and ties to a betting tips company. We know he didn't bet on hockey because nobody bets on hockey.
Minus 1

Allen Iverson plays with broken thumb in Olympics. Even more amazing, Tim Duncan plays with no heart.
Plus 5

Athletes and coaches from Philly high schools are ejected from games less often than ones from other parts of Pennsylvania. Fuckin' chokers.
Plus 7

Tourism to Philly's historic sites is up 30 percent over last year. Good thing Independence Park looks like ass and stinks of tourist urine.
Plus 4

Thousands of people are coming to Philly to sue the makers of a diet pill they claim causes heart damage. Fortunately for the company, they're jogging here.
Minus 2

Councilman Frank Rizzo proposes the Parking Authority create a free parking lot for drivers picking up passengers at the airport. Proposal stalled by Rizzo's father's "Ban on Common Sense," passed in 1976.
Plus 3

Daily News' "Riot Grrrl" columnist calls protesters planning a sit-in "group of hairy do-nothings." Oh for fuck's sake.
Minus 1

Allen Iverson owes $1,600 in parking tickets, mostly from parking in handicapped spots. "Ow," says A.I., "my thumb."
Minus 1

Rain has caused $5 million in damage to Fairmount Park this summer. And here we thought parks were supposed to be waterproof.
Minus 3

Total pluses: 22
Total minuses: 8
This week's total: 14
Last week's total: -13