August 26-September 1, 2004

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Real World Philly wraps up, cast leaves town. Finally, we can all stop sucking in our guts.
Even

Cops say they sometimes subpoena PECO to investigate people with large electric bills, suspecting they may be running heat lamps and growing pot in their homes. Most of those caught say they were only selling weed to pay their electric bill.
Plus 1

After a six-month feud, Mayor Street and Gov. Rendell appear to have buried the hatchet, appearing together at a Kerry fundraiser. Maybe George Bush is a uniter after all.
Plus 5

Poll showing Kerry has a lead in Pennsylvania gives credit to Michael Moore and Howard Stern. Finally, a candidate who appeals to fans of both Fahrenheit 9/11 and Butt Bongo Fiesta. Looks like Kerry's a uniter, too.
Plus 7

The Philly area has failed to promote itself to businesses, according to survey of consultants. Christ, we tried to run the Real World out of town, we re-elected the mayor because the feds are investigating him and our football team has imploded in the postseason three years in a row — what more do we have to do for attention?
Minus 5

Whoopi Goldberg will revive her 1984 one-woman show in Philadelphia. You mean she's changed her material in the last 20 years?
Plus 1

Rudy Giuliani gives pro-Bush re-election speech in front of the Rizzo mural in Italian Market. He then unsheathes a whacking stick and starts roughing up hippies.
Minus 1

M. Night Shyamalan is accused of stealing the idea for The Village from a children's book. It was called I Figured It Out During the Opening Credits.
Minus 1

Total pluses: 14
Total minuses: 7
This week's total: 7
Last week's total: 14