August 26-September 1, 2004

slant

What the Future Holds

As an ex-president, George W. Bush would have to beat a new path. It's not like he's equipped to write a book or cash in on public speaking.

by Jonathan McGoran

It's not too early to start thinking about what will happen after Election Day. The winner will face some tough decisions, but the loser may face even tougher ones.

For John Kerry, a loss would mean he remains a senator from Massachusetts. For George W. Bush, however, a loss would require some hard choices.

First, there's the matter of how to finish out his term. Considering how Bush got into the White House, he might simply refuse to leave. Assuming he goes peacefully, he'll have to consider presidential pardons. Hadn't he stonewalled the investigation, he could have pardoned whoever "outed" CIA agent Valerie Plame, but having denied any knowledge of it, he can't clear culprits before they've been named. The folks at Enron and Halliburton are a lock, but who else? It could be a long list, so better get started now.

There is also a tradition of imparting wisdom in a farewell address. Unfortunately, wisdom has been almost as problematic as intelligence, but he could always borrow a theme from one of his predecessors: "Heck, you don't even need to worry about that military/industrial complex," he could say. "I know I don't."

More questions will arise after his successor is sworn in.

You might think someone who has valued vacation time so highly while in office would have very definite ideas about early retirement and how to spend it, but Bush has never been one to plan ahead (see Iraq war, winning the peace). You might also think he'd be content to sleep late and do nothing all day, but after four years that's surely wearing thin. He could take up a hobby such as woodworking or, more realistically, whittling (although a block of wood may be a bit of a letdown after whittling down a historic surplus and America's standing in the world). Some ex-presidents — Jimmy Carter for example — work for causes that are dear to their hearts. Habitat for Humanity is a little far afield from the president's interests or experience, but perhaps Bush could find something more in keeping with his own values — Yachts for Tots, maybe, or RIF (Reading Is Fundamentalist).

Of course, after all those tax cuts for people with high incomes, it would be unfair if he was unable to take advantage of them himself. Luckily, recent history offers several sources of post-presidency income to choose from. President Bush the elder quietly re-entered the business world, making considerable sums of money from a life of business experience enriched by a career in politics. That would be fine for the vice president (again), but Dubya's business successes have so far been limited by the extent to which the Saudi royal family or some other agenda-toting investor could bail him out. Eventually, that well is going to run as dry as the ones he drilled as an oilman.

The public-speaking circuit has been lucrative for several ex-presidents, but that's never been his strong suit. Ex-presidents can get huge advances to write a book after leaving office, but when you can sprain a lip reading a book, who knows what toll writing one could take.

One important ex-presidential function is the grooming of political successors. Bush senior helped groom Dubya and President Clinton has been a valuable asset to his wife's political career. The president does have a brother with presidential aspirations. In fact, many were surprised when he was put forward to run for the White House before Jeb (apparently forgetting George Sr.'s first two choices of a successor were both Dan Quayle). Not only could helping Jeb give Dubya something to do, but it could also land him a role that would suit him much better than president; in the proud tradition of Billy Carter and Roger Clinton, he could return to the wayward glory days of his youth as President Jeb's misspeaking, misbehaving, embarrassing oaf of a brother.

On the other hand, as a man of action, Bush just might don that "Mission Accomplished" flight suit and return to active duty. Like O.J. Simpson, maybe he can find vindication searching for the "real killers" — Iraq's elusive WMD.

Jonathan McGoran is a novelist and editor of the Weavers Way Shuttle. If you would like to respond to this Slant or have one of your own (800 words), contact Brian Hickey, City Paper interim editor, 123 Chestnut St., third floor, Phila., PA 19106 or e-mail hickey@citypaper.net.