September 23-29, 2004

music

icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

James Brown said "It's a Man's Man's Man's World." But it's looking more like a woman's world, despite homophobic Pa. Sen. Rick Santorum not wanting Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie running their Simple Life asses up state building steps, so sayeth New York's Daily News. (Who votes for this prick?) First off, boys, you should always be good to your woman. But now you have to be, especially in California, where having sex with corpses is now illegal, jerk off. No more bonin' the dead. Then this: Since almost-Miss Americas so did not dig Speedo-cladding their pageant-walking asses, expect more teeth (like those of horsy winner Deidre Downs) than T&A next year. Speaking of which, your obsessive lust for Britney Spears, the Daisy Duke of the Pork Rind set (now that's oxymoronic!), must cease, what with her all married in a ceremony with groomsmen and bridesmaids in sweats marked "Pimps" and "Hot Mamas." How Spencer Gifts! The same goes for the silicone-enhanced Sarah from Real World: Philadelphia. You can't have her. Save it for the trivia game or wait for the car show to come around. What we have here is manly Monday Night Football at the Dark Horse taken over by promotrixes Rachel Furman and Claire Timmins. "Guys are welcome, meatheads need not apply," says Furman. She's also working with North/Next's Jason Taylor and Rich Podulka on that "pimp-bus ride" to the new 105 Social in Manayunk. Intended for Sept. 20, the ride'll happen when "last-minute licensing problems get straightened out," says Furman. (Check www.Rachelinc.com.) We have beauty promoter Paige Wolf ringing in the unfortunately "z"'d Sportz Page Bar at the hotel/motel Holiday Inn Stadium in Souf Philly on Oct. 1. We have M3/J2 promo-ma'ams (new mom Michele Malin Seidman and Jamie Joffe) guiding ex-nurse Danuta Mieloch through opening Rescue Rittenhouse Spa Lounge (255 S. 17th) and its fabulously rude-sounding procedures "Sweet or Salty Buff" and "Margarita Manicure." And though we didn't get The Boss spitting all over his wife, Patti Scialfa, at her solo TLA show, we do get Secret Cinema's Jay Schwartz, who's bringing gullfriend DJ Silvia to move here from Gijon, Spain. And chef Ian Moroney, who joined forces with his woman, Hillary Bor, in co-ownership of Pumpkin, 1713 South St. The ex-Little Fish-es opened their good-vibey Mediterranean-menued BYO with the intention of being "un-rigid and neighborhood-y," says Ian of the cozy locale, pet-named for Bor. They must never break up, otherwise they'd need to rename it Squash. … And then there's Hamburger Mary's, which is not a woman. It's a gay-ish restaurant. Or did you figure that out too late? (Ups to Needles Jones who calls the place "Thank God It's Faggy."). … Despite a lack of Center City stores and salons, 2004's Phashion Phest "was much more sophisticated [than past events] in terms of who was there and what they were wearing," said one anonymous CC beauty-bar owner. … Cream Charger Dean Rosenzweig finally finished the naughty, Basquiat-like installation at Bar Noir with dirty photog Tony Ward and Eric Subin, chef at Latest Dish, among others. He'll unveil that and his new band, Catnip (with Ron Forzeck, Johhny Munduno), at Noir's Monday Night Club, Sept. 27, with Swearing at Motorists. … While we welcome wonderful Wally Kennedy (fuck WPVI-6 for firing him) to Temple U.'s journalism department, teaching courses on broadcast performance, we say byeee to Drexel U.'s Jonathan Estrin, who after a Toto bon-voyage bash thrown by Amy Nislow, Sharon Pinkenson and Joe Weiss, heads to L.A. for his gig with the American Film Institute. … WHOWHATWHERE: Now that he's not Hacking, David Morse stopped by Blue Mercury, buying two bottles of Darphin Myrrh oil. Before talking up I Huckabees at Ritz Five with director David O. Russell, Jason Schwartzman shopped for guitars at DiPinto Guitars and Society Hill Loan. Beanie Sigel gave away $10, 000 worth of State Property and Rocawear jeans, shirts and sneakers to the boys of Waterview Recreation Center in Germantown. Not only did Audrey Claire transform her eponymous restaurant into a gallery displaying the artwork of her Claire and Twenty Manning employees, but one of Twenty Manning's tenders, John Policino, dropped the news he'll be joining SNL this fall. And before you get totally sick of celebs, step into their shoes (yuck) at Manayunk Brewery and Restaurant, Sept. 23, for the Celebrity Shoe Auction benefiting Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. While a list of shoe donors can be found at Mix957online.com (Sting, Wynonna, Seacrest), you'll find TV-newsies Gary Papa and Cecily Tynan bartending. … B-days: Catch VJ/DJ Large Marge's third anniversary show/benefit for his arts community Web site, Sherman (Gypsyboots.org), Sept. 24, at the Rotunda with Monica McIntyre and Snow Fairies (among others). Then see Songspot.org's Joey Mahoney whose B-day bash (Sept. 25 at Tokio with Ashley Phillips and Adam Monaco) signals the departure of Tokio booker Dave Simons, who's leaving for NYC. … Sadly, New Hope's flood-ravaged Odette's is closed indefinitely; for "weeks, months," says the club's Bob Egan. "We won't even know the extent of the damage till later this week."