October 28-November 3, 2004

music

icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

It's no fun being an adult in the media's glare. If you're me, you're constantly considering your Alfie-like exterior, forgoing personal safety and civic duty in order to maintain poshness. If you're skinny Ann Coulter, you're worrying about ducking pies during speaking engagements. (I worry too. It's the calories. We're so alike.) If you're Philly's gone-Hollywood comics Tim and Eric, you get into a glittering gayness (www.los-angeles.craigslist.org/cas/46094027.html) not witnessed since La Cage. Yet, its kids in the spotlight I worry about—the ones who have to retire early, like Britney, to lead lives of peaceful humility. "Should we talk to her … like the Icon everyone says she is?" asks Spears, in a strange third-person reference, of her audience in her quasi-retirement note (www.britneyspears.com). Sister, I know that heartache. And Ms. Autobiography Ashlee Simpson: Don't feel bad. Every time I pretape my television appearances and my umbrella-toting valet unspools a segment I've already done, making my lip-synch sink, I too just want to do a stupid dance, run and blame my lame-ass band. Remember, sweetie—everyone else is stupid. You're just retarded. … I spent last sunny Saturday morning in a premural-painting procession across Ninth Street with Jerry Blavat, Al Martino and Chubby Checker, three of the South Philadelphians immortalized on Anastasi Seafood's under-construction Passyunk location. Before the first brushstrokes were placed onto The Sound of Philadelphia wall (sponsored by WXPN and the Mural Arts Program) the trio and I sat at Geno's Steaks' hallowed indoor table. When asked who's who in this Mount Rushmore of Phillydom, my-man-pots-'n'-pans Blavat said, "I'm Crazy Horse, Al here is Ulysses S. Grant and Chubby is George Washington—the man who brought the first dances to the land."… My new four-day holiday: Hallow'lection. "There'll be hundreds of bare-assed political statements, literally and figuratively," says Henri David, who'll loose the demon within for his annual Halloween-night bash at Wyndham Philadelphia. "People are going to love a night without politics. Dozens of organizations asked to come and pamphlet. It's one night, it's $20, please." While David suggests y'all use October 30's daylight saving for an extra hour of sequin-sewing, I say head to Beaux Arts Ball at the National Constitution Center (www.beaux-artsballphilly.com) and get your poli-sigh on. Then, Nov. 1, hang with El Vez at his voter show at, hmmm, Stephen Starr's El Vez (before "El Vez for Prez" at the Troc, Nov. 2). Then hit Bar Noir's Monday Night Club, Nov. 1, where High Fidelity Clothing presents Democracy or Die with The Figgs' Pete Donnelly, The Capitol Years, We the People Inc. and Needles Jones as Betsy Ross. … It worships Gawker and has already yanked a catfight tale between Concerts for Change and The Khyber. (Plus the Tim-and-Eric love and proximity to NoLibs' Metro gives away its perpetrator.) But don't let that stop you from luuving the Cherry Coke-like "anonymous" Philly indie blog www.philebrity.com. Look for more Philly scribes blogging soon. … Plastic Eater Rob Daly's makeup-heavy Misfits cover band, Devil's Whorehouse, hits Pontiac Oct. 29. … Director/producer/star Sal Mazzotta is hitting vid-rental spots with lotsa DVDs and flyers for his Leo Rossi/Lou Albano feature Mafioso: The Father, the Son. … DJ Spooky joins Moquita and King Britt funking for change, Oct. 28, at Fluid. … Ardent folkie Mia Johnson releases her new CD, Driver, at Grape Street, Oct. 30. … A little bird says Bill Cosby may world premiere his Fat Albert movie between the Liacouras Center and the Kimmel. … Whiskey Dix on N. Seventh is "going back to its rock 'n' roll roots," promises new owner "3 O'Clock" Jon Walmer. He's booking hard bands and rockabilly acts throughout the week. "It'll be a great place to get banged up." … WHOWHATWHERE: Who doesn't love tit-cakes? Not the crew at CN8's eighth anniversary party at Tangerine, who stuffed their faces with cleavage confections. Suchabunchacards. We're keeping an eye on Frankford Arsenal as the cast of Annapolis is filming there; either that, or I'm in fucking Tacony for nothing. Who dug Metallica backstage at the Wach? The Eagles' Jon Ritchie and Viva La's Bam Margera. Meanwhile, Metallica opener Godsmack's Sully Erna spent more than one night at Cheerleaders' strip club. Ministry and My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult hit Emerald City (led by Kult's Philly-expat Shok), after their Trocadero show. Weep not for the half-houses Whoopi Goldberg's Merriam show received in Philly. It was meant as prep for a soon-to-be-taped HBO show from Broadway. … Not De La Soul: De La Salle's Christian Brothers of La Salle University are hooking up NBC 10's Renee Chenault-Fattah with a Shining Star Award for the 10th anniversary of its Communication Center, Oct. 29. You know, you could've given that award to the CP edit staff's recovering Explorers. … After Tragos and Paperstreet get their Breast Cancer Awareness charity jawn on, Oct . 29, Black Star's Mos Def and Talib Kweli hit Tragos after their Oct. 30 Electric Factory gig.