November 4-10, 2004

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

District Attorney's Office tries to tack on WMD charges against North Philly drug dealers who protect their turf with explosives. "Of course, if we actually find drugs," says the DA, "we can charge them with something legit."
Minus 5

The Eagles are 7-0, their best start in franchise history. South Philly wives continue an unbeaten streak of their own.
Plus 7

The "Super Rapid," an Italian-made naval missile system, is on display where its manufacturing plant will stand, near Philly International Airport. Tom Ridge's face moves from elevated yellow to severe-alert red.
Minus 4

The Barclay Prime tells sign-waving protesters it will consider eliminating the foie gras from its famed $100 cheese-steak. In related news, Barclay Prime switches to goose-fed Kobe beef.
Even

The zoo ships out its lions and tigers and such to start construction on its new "Big Cat Falls" exhibit. Should look nice next to "Monkey Stops, Drops and Rolls."
Plus 1

Gov. Rendell says Bin Laden was endorsing Bush by putting out latest videotape. Rendell hasn't stretched this far since Midge bought him that Epilady for Men.
Even

City Council considers banning sale of small glass vases and pens which are used as makeshift crack pipes. That should just about kill sales of FTD's "Thinking of You, Crack Dealer" bouquet.
Plus 2

The Linc parking lot on game day is an ideal place for homeless people to scavenge for food, says Daily News. "Thanks," say homeless, "With tips like that, we'll be back on our feet in no time."
Even

Total pluses: 10
Total minuses: 9
This week's total: 1
Last week's total: 5