The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Now that it's legal again to cut off deadbeats' gas in the winter, PGW chief exec Thomas Knudsen promises they will do just that. "And when they're good and dead, we'll come collectin'," says Knudsen.
Minus 1

Temple professor's study of Pennypack Creek could incite dozens of lawsuits as to who's to blame for flooding issues. Mother Nature retains legal counsel, plots something catastrophic.
Even

Steelers fans aren't lewd enough to compete with Eagles fans, says Daily News columnist. "See," say Steelers fans, "you won something after all."
Plus 1

Bart Blatstein says he wants to make the Jewish Exponent more hip. Soon it will be the Schmidt's Brewery of newspapers.
Plus 1

With no state aid in the works, SEPTA says it will lay off 1,400 employees. Upon hearing the news, Thomas Knudsen laughs, strokes his cat and shoots death ray from his eyes.
Minus 6

Thacher Longstreth's Rittenhouse Hotel condo is being sold by his fiancee for $2.9 million. Next up for sale: Thach's socks and bones on eBay.
Minus 1

Thousands of teachers, therapists and parents flock to International Dyslexia Association conference in Philly. Participants will be in town from the 12th to the 8th.
Plus 2

Violence in Philly public schools is up due to gangs like "Baby Gangsters" and "Walnut Hill Girls." And the "Chestnut Hill Girls" have totally taken over Banana Republic.
Minus 2

Woman who severely injured her back after tripping on a pothole at 19th and Market sees her award go from $5 million to $250,000 due to Pa. law. She immediately sues state for whiplash.
Even

Total pluses: 4
Total minuses: 10
This week's total: -6
Last week's total: 1

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