November 11-17, 2004

music

icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

The fog of war—or something smelly and vaporous—loomed heavy throughout Philly, thicker than the skulls of those who voted for Bushwhacking. I've been through doomed sports seasons, snowed-out Mummers parades, missed shoe sales at Stiletto. That's nothing compared to the blank stares of the so-few out last weekend. RitSquare: dead. First Friday: beat. A huddle of tippling bearded, banged and leg-warmered sorts showed at the Philebrity bash at Aqua Lounge (didn't see weblog rivals from Celebridelphia, the rumored National Eye). But no amount of Miller High Life could disguise Philly's new fear, loathing and lethargy—different from our usual self-hatred and apathy. I implore Philly's lefties to show their pride, not hide. Be like Melissa Manchester. Don't cry out loud. Remember, you almost had it all. As for the Christians who won this election for

Bush, these gotta be the same moral jerk-offs that picketed Barclay Prime in protest of lining $100 cheesesteaks with politically incorrect foie gras (chef Todd Mark Miller now uses lobster meat instead). I'm gonna soak my cock in foie gras and suck it myself in protest. Viva foie gras! … Moved by the utter lousiness of the political climate, Earl "Enya Buttox" Dax pauses from promoting his Nov. 21 date with Lady Bunny at L'Etage to book "The Face of Liberalism" from Manhattan performance artist Taylor Mac at Bar Noir Nov. 15. "Taylor gives voice to collective rage, disappointment and legitimate fears about the state of the nation," says Dax of the East Village queer- theater regular/Scissor Sisters associate whose song "The Revolution Will Not Be Masculinized" fills PS 122 and FEZ regularly. "After this," says Dax, "we can move to big, sassy-mouthed drag queens again." Not to be outdone, gender-fucking Dumpsta' Players, dressed as Toucan Sam and Captain Crunch, get moved by cereal for their musical production "Krispy Smack's Broadway Revue" at Bob and Barbara's Nov. 17. … Wanna see the promos Philly comics Tim and Eric made for Tom Goes to the Mayor—their Nov. 14 Adult Swim debut? Didn't think so: www.timand-eric.com or www.bobanddavid.com. … Though its chef/owner Moh Azizi has been serving meals to members since September, The Mansion—the private-membership Rittenhouse-area supper club—officially opens Nov. 11. … After less than a year on the job, World Café Live's music director, Bruce Ranes, is no longer with the venue. "It was a mutual, amicable decision," says marketing director Nat Gutwirth. Ranes was unavailable for comment. … You've likely heard that Philly's gay-hop stars VIP danced onstage during Le Tigre's Halloween show at Irving Plaza in Manhattan. VIPJonny sang for Beastie Boy Ad-Rock backstage while VIPeter did get caught doing a sorta-sex act on/to/with/in Gravy Train dancer Junx. What you may not know is that Gravy Train's Hunx showered VIP with gifts and the G Train wound up contributing to VIP's currently recording full-length Tightly Rapped that weekend. Whatever Peter did, he musta been good. … WHOWHATWHERE: The Wellness Community, Saks Fifth Avenue and patroness Sharon Simpson welcomed designer Carolina Herrera for their "In Fashion!" cancer-care benefit. Bette Midler got a backstage visit from Jill Scott at the Wachovia Center. Songwriter Phil Roy (famous for writing Grammy-winning material for Pops Staples) stopped by The TLA to see Mavis Staples. Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were spotted throughout the Ambler area and the Lehigh Valley International Airport, shooting bits of Simple Life's third season this week; if you can hit 'em, you can have 'em. Turn on the bright lights: Were those members of Interpol playing Ping-Pong and pool at the RUBA after their Electric Factory show? The only way the Hard Rock Cafe gets any celebs is by booking them—which is how Yellowcard and actress Brittany Snow got there. How did Darryl Dawkins celebrate the anniversary of busting up the backboards of the Kansas City Kings 25 years ago? By hanging out with Pony footwear at Jillian's at Franklin Mills Mall. Dag. … Sure, we've heard Khyber's honchos might be looking at the RUBA club as a source of new revenue. We've also heard an unnamed NYC gay collective is looking at the space. Wow, do I hope RUBA goes gay! … When American Male opens Thursday (37 S. 16th St.), not only will it house tonsorial treats and barbershop goodies, it'll feature a tattooed shaver named "Shorty"—a legend in the tattooed shaving biz. … "Howard Stern said that he would do a match if I came up with the money and now I have, so let's get it on." Those are the words of boxing promoter Damon Feldman to backers willing to pony up $20,000,000 for Stern to step into the ring for a three-round match against an opponent to be announced. "This is for real," says Feldman. Stay tuned. … Happy b-days to record-bizzer Evan Gusz, corporate food dude Brett Brasler, Renaissance Ltd.'s Angela Gardner (now in Annapolis) and to Patrice "Glamorosi" Amorosi, mah jewelry-designing missus.