The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Before winning on Monday night against the Cowboys, the Eagles' Terrell Owens appears in skit with the stars of Desperate Housewives. It was quite tasteful until Owens whipped out his Sharpie.
Minus 1

Former Philly anchor Sharon Reed, now working in Cleveland, gets naked for promotional stunt. Look for it on next week's Ratings-Desperate News Tarts.
Even

Health Dept. vows to clean up PACCA, which has been criticized for inhumane conditions and for euthanizing pets before they could be claimed. Says a PACCA spokesman, "Actually, we used to euthanize them after they were claimed."
Plus 2

Plumbing problem causes fire in Club Egypt. Pennsauken club chick parts Delaware River, leads flight into Jersey.
Minus 1

Olney High is evacuated after a student steals formaldehyde from a science lab and spills it in a stairwell. Jerry Blavat shows up, rolls around in it like a pig in slop.
Minus 1

Philly schools have trouble hanging onto their principals. And principles.
Minus 5

Councilman Rizzo has police call a funeral director whom he says cut him off in traffic and gave him the finger. Leaving the corpse in the back with only nine.
Minus 1

Zoo will lay off 15 percent of its employees due to budget concerns. Well, we hear PACCA's hiring.
Minus 2

Mayor Street says he wants to turn the city into a hub for receiving natural gas tankers from overseas. Uh oh, Milton Street just got into the flint business.
Plus 2

Total pluses: 4
Total minuses: 11
This week's total: -7
Last week's total: -6

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