Holiday Dining & Entertaining Guide

Photo By: Michael T. Regan

CityPaper proudly presents 12 of the most eclectic, nondenominational, festive, frightening and just plain wrong-headed party ideas for all of your holiday needs.*

by Brian Howard

Is there a man, woman or child who doesn't love a party? No. I looked it up. When we are small, parties are gay affairs where school chums gather to pin tails upon or whack the hell out of defenseless beasts of burden.

As teens, the games are less elaborate but, if we are fortunate bottle spinners, result in socially sanctioned closet-groping of that hottie Amy Houck.

As collegians, parties are soggy affairs where we do ridiculous things (hang out with the rugby team, pledge a frat) for the opportunity to imbibe plastic-cupfuls of The Beast.

But as adults, and yes, that's what we are, parties are big freaking deals. Life gets hectic, jobs grow more demanding—can you believe Amy Houck has seven kids?—and we just don't see everyone as often as we like. So we send out e-vites, assemble elaborate spreads, set social circles on collision courses, and facilitate mistletoe-nuzzling between single friends (or between host and friends' single friends).

And December is the most partyful time of the year, when we gather in the name of (or in spite of) deities major and minor, or to simply honor the old and roll with the new. It's in this spirit that we present the 2004 Holiday Dining and Entertaining Guide. Food editor Juliet Fletcher and I have tapped our food writers and our in-house party aesthetes to provide an indispensable planner for the entire season. Playing off "The Twelve Days of Christmas" (relax, this supplement is multidenominational to the point of blasphemy), we present a dozen party schematics that we assure you are not only fun, but simple enough even for you to pull off.

If you're as big a fan of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation as just about everyone around the office here, you'll read with interest our point-by-point Griswold party plan.
Local chef Grant Langdon Brown of Meritage shows you how to throw a world fusion party—each dish is from a different tradition — while Jamaican Jerk Hut's Nicola Shirley talks about celebrating in islander fashion.
While we're culture hopping, we put a new twist on Hanukkah revelry with riotous rules for a Dreidel Olympics.
Good stuff all, but there's more: We've got a pagan feast, a Whoville soiree (in verse), details for snowman manifestation, and a scheme for frosty foreplay in the form of a cold-weather picnic.
Grill up a Lone Star holiday barbecue even that Grinch in the White House would approve of, or thrill over the implausibly good time offered in our Jurassic Park-themed dino fest.
Hell, we've even got ideas for spicing up your sure-to-be-underfunded office holiday party and proof that even people who hate people can enjoy one-man party action with our misanthrope party, complete with instructions on how to download City Paper's specially prepared iTunes mix.

There. Twelve parties. Use them as you will—you don't even have to credit us. But if you're feeling thankful, send that e-vite to .

*Squirrel sold separately

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