The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Judge permits the Barnes Foundation to move its art collection from Merion to The Parkway. Merion residents elated. No, disgusted. No, sleepy.
Plus 10

Police and school officials apologize for having a 10-year-old girl handcuffed and arrested for bringing scissors to school. Fellow students celebrate, fire their nines in the air.
Plus 2

Fumo says it'll be another four and a half years before a slot-machine parlor opens in Philly. "Till then," he says, "we'll just have to throw our money away on that faggot-trap Lights of Liberty Tour."
Minus 2

Boathouse Row replaces its famous lights with more energy-efficient ones that have color-changing options. See? This is why we can't have nice things.
Minus 8

Port Richmond fifth grader places second in national math competition. Take a ride on Smarty Jones, kid.
Plus 5

North Philly Pop Warner team wins its Super Bowl in Florida. "Nuts," says ghost of William Penn. "How did I miss that one?"
Plus 5

SEPTA lifts its ban on Christmas decorations in station booths, but says cashiers must get permission from managers and have an electrician inspect all lighted displays. And SEPTA's small heart grew three sizes that day.
Plus 1

New Barnes museum will likely force a juvenile prison to move from The Parkway to West Philly. Until Penn has it moved to Merion. Behold, the circle of gentrification!
Even

Power outage in Center City temporarily shuts down The Gallery. Cinnabon suffers massive defrosting.
Minus 1

Total pluses: 23
Total minuses: 11
This week's total: 12
Last week's total: -4

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