icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

For most, a gargantuan inflatable Fat Albert dangling from the roof of the Liacouras might seem like cartoony fun. But to me, it was a disturbing totem of sad, acid-fried holidays on Temple's campus. See, nothing'll put a smile on your face if you're a ho-ho-ho-less holiday manic-depressoid. Do you harbor desires to shoot a heavy metal band? Or to run screaming into a friendly gathering of Italian Market merchants wanting only to light their block for the holidays like City Councilman Frank Di-Cicco did, freaking out at John Dougherty, business manager of Philly's electricians' union? Then, in the midst of the therapist's dream season, we have Neil Stein. Ordered by U.S. District Court to undergo psychiatric examination to determine competency before his tax fraud trials, it was reported (by the Daily News) that the U.S. Attorney claimed "Stein's words and actions … indicate that he does not understand his current situation." No kidding. This guy doesn't understand anything current; the faux tan and spiky hair should be proof enough. And talking about Boogie Nights retro: Wha'happened to Real World Across America that was supposed to stop here Dec. 11? The only folks who care may be Yaron Properties, owners of the RW house, and Aqua Matrix Promotions, who invited Philly's ugh-ishly elite (now, there's a beast that hasn't existed since The Philadelphia Story) to Saturday's $150-per-person party. But L&I put the kibosh on that, telling Yaron and co. there will be no parties with hot tubs until the property is up to snuff. … Tyrese made the red carpet run on for the Fat Albert premiere party at the Liacouras with the Cos, Mrs. Cos and Cos' brother Russell, before heading back to the Ritz Carlton. "I wanna thank my sister for … I don't remember what I want to thank my sister for," said Cos inside the Liacouras. … Low-brow lit: First, Philly Mag's Jason Fagone gets cash to write a book about competitive eating, starting with Philly's Wing Bowl. Then Jennifer Weiner gets a nebulous "Gold Medal" at Wyndham Philadelphia from the Philadelphia Public Relations Association. On her blog, Weiner said, "The thing I love best about Philadelphia these days is that people here seem, for the most part, really happy and excited about a local girl making good." Local girl, yes. Just not her. … Not only was I delighted to see Nicole Cashman at her Associates' fab Christmas confab at Denim—despite spying Survivor Gervase Petersen—I was tickled to hear problems between Cashman and the PR firm MB & Associates of Voorhees regarding the latter's use of the former's "Girls Night Out" graphics were avoided by an out-of-court cash settlement. Also at Denim I found exec chef Scott McLeod and owner Wayne Schulick are opening a late-night, high-end pizza joint, Fresca, on Walnut Street in February. That it will have a liquor license for "in-house drinks, American microbrews and takeout," says Schulick, makes it perfect for its location—next to the Irish Pub. Carbs, cheese and gin—fucking A. McLeod also mentioned chopped salads and foccacia pizza with duck confit and exotic specialties. I bet the Irish guys'll be dunking stromboli in chianti. … WHOWHATWHERE: After doing Bobby Darin songs from Beyond the Sea at Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, Kevin Spacey hit the casino's Anheuser Busch VIP party. Gerald Levert was all over FYE Galleria on Market Street before his Tower Theatre show last week. After punching Tyrese Friday at Blue Horizon (for Annapolis), James Franco spent Saturday shopping at Spaceboy and Zipperhead. "He looked wired," said a spy, "like he was ready to hit someone." Duh. … Creepily cheery locals Liam and Me drop tracks from their eponymous EP at Millcreek Dec. 17. … Philly's ska-bopping Public Service host Ska Against Hunger for Greater Philadelphia Food Bank with Nat King Kong Dec. 18 at Rex's Bar in West Chester. … Whiskey Dix hosts an evening of strip-o-licious fun with girls of BurningAngel.com Dec. 16, followed by the club's first Ho Ho Ball Dec. 17. … Talking tacky, after a December of midget wrestlers, Damon Feldman wants women and men, toothless or not, to box hillbilly skater/fighter Tonya Harding on Jan. 19. Not doing any whittlin' that day? E-mail Feldman at damonfeldman@hotmail.com. … "I figured we were too jazzy for World Café Live, but luckily for us, they're broadening to include lots of jazz," says Bart Miltenberger, whose Chance Trio opens for Brooklyn Sax Quartet there Dec. 19. … A little bird tells me Dave Simons will commute from NYC to fire up his Five Year Plan Entertainment booking company, reopening Tokio Ballroom on Lombard (Christmas day?) as well as lining up bands for Philadelphia Fish & Co. and Society Hill Hotel. … Jonny Makeup was so happy his hardcore gay hip-hop unit VIP had released its Mad Coke EP (Van Halen-esque logo 'n' all) he made a vow before hitting the stage at Khyber. "Hopefully, I'll lure some straight boys into my plan tonight." ... B-day kisses to Ms. Cashman, multijoint owner Avram Hornik and my mom, Mistress Eda, before whom you must fall prostrate.

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