January 6-12, 2005

music

icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

On New Year's Day, my computer blew up. Rather than be the prick the upcoming "year of the cock" dictates, I thought: "What would Terrell Owens, the calm owner of a hyperbaric chamber, do?" Or how about Alabama artiste Cody "Shannon" Windsong, a woman so dismayed by her cheating beau she's auctioning her conscience on eBay? These are people of quiet dignity and strength. Then I decided they both sounded like bigger dicks than I ever could. (Editor's note: Mr. Amorosi's opinions on T.O. are not shared by the staff of City Paper. ) So I threw my computer out the window. Happy 2005. … Phil-reality? Everyone knows South Philly stylist David Evangelista will be a judge on CBS's Wickedly Perfect and that Aqua Matrix model/Villanova grad Erin Elmore will grace NBC's Apprentice 3 (Trump told Fox News she's a shoe-in to make top two). But did you know DJ Jazzy Jeff is on Spike TV's The Club — billed as the first-ever nightclub reality show — starting Jan. 8? ... New jobs: Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts doesn't have Michelle C. McCaffrey to kick around. The PR mistress left amicably before Christmas to begin "a new career path as a practicing artist." Ralph "Major" Taylor of Silk City DJ fame finally moved to Chicago to kick it PR-style for the Biz 3 firm. … Robots in Disguise bassist John Plunkett's other band, Mantenna, just became the first signed to the Disco Biscuits' new label, Diamond Rig. … WHOWHATWHERE: Punk scribe Legs McNeil watched as Mistress Athena, Helen Back, Melissa Bang-Bang and Needles Jones made the most wearing the least at the Dolphin's NYE party. That was WYSP's Jacky Bam Bam marching as a Fancy with the Golden Sunrise New Year's Association on Jan. 1. Good week for Bam Bam as he got a visit from Tommy Stinson (Replacements/GN'R) during his Wednesday night rock bash at Mint. Stinson made "a lot of requests from The Faces box," says Bam Bam. … Wanna dis Allen Iverson? Try yelling, "Hey, little ashy dick!" He's heard it before, according to Ozone mag's groupie survey. "He had the littlest, ashiest dick I've ever seen," said one anonymous miss. … Perf-art mistress 2 St. Toni believes she has worked miracles before, for instance, getting "the Mummers back onto Broad Street through heavy drinkin', struttin', poetry and prayers to St. Rita." She and Nicole McCafferty will work their mojo in the guise of the Hard Luck Phillys for the sole purpose of "getting the Iggles home from the Superbowl wit' a Superbowl ring." You can find them in almost nightly novenas at Tritone where owner Rick D is installing cable in order to keep vigil. … Goth-tech promo-maven JoAnna Marmon's IntrepidJam kicks off its new "Second Sundays" at Grape Street Jan. 9 with the assaulting sounds of Terrorfakt and a meet-greet with Rochelle Davis from The Crow. Boo! … Not so scary is gypsy guitar devotee Barry Warhoftig and his Hot Club of Philly. Along with taking on the Sellersville Theater (Jan. 8), Warhoftig and bandmates Rich Yescalis, South Philly violinist Mark Campiglia and Huffamoose's Jim Stager play their first gigs in Center City (Jan. 10 at Bar Noir) with guest singer Claudia Beechman (Laurie's sister) since hosting Striped Bass brunches in 2003. … Speaking of the Bass, Stephen Starr rang to comment on the chatter set forth by reports that he was starting a magazine. "Didn't we talk about this a week after I opened the Continental?" asked Starr of the decade-old news. (Sometimes this story involves Philly Mag's David Lipson, sometimes not.) "Right now, it's not going anywhere but a thought." But he never says never, either. What is new beyond NYC and AC digs for Starr's Buddakan and Morimoto projects is a bar idea he's formulating for the 12th and Callowhill area. "It's remote and hasn't been infiltrated by yuppies or frat boys, yet." … Painter/Cream Charger/sound man Dean Rosenzweig arrived home from his tour of Europe with Swearing at Motorists just in time for his first major exhibition at Union 237 Gallery Jan. 7. … Think you can flambé with the best? Take the test when this year's annual Philly Cooks! (Jan. 19, Navy Yard, ahoy) hosts a competition for "Amateur Chef." Send a recipe and a self-loving essay to Philly Mag before Jan. 10. Write like I do and they'll surely print it. … Along with putting finishing touches on his new 18th Street lounge, Byblos, Diaa Sawan is readying some big names for its promotional staff. … Amy Pickard of the late great She-Haw has joined forces with Philly's bluegrassy Paul Edelman and the Jangling Sparrows. Their first gig together? World Café Live Jan. 7 — one day after WCL starts its "DJs & Desserts" night with DJ Deejay of Silk City fame. … Pretentious idea of the week: Former Harron Cable owner Paul Harron (he sold to Comcast) just opened a tavern named after his yacht, Misconduct, at 1511 Locust. … Don't put this on the resume: Michael Berman, co-owner of Smoked Joint: A Barbecue Experience, qualified for the Wing Bowl by eating five pounds of matzoh balls in five minutes, claims Smoked Joint manager Ali Waks. … Kimmel Center manager/"Sex Dwarf" habitué Robby Sobotka parties down for his b-day to the sounds of DJ Robert Drake Jan. 8 at Medusa.