February 10-16, 2005

music

icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

I know all about you dyed-in-green drunkards. The ones spitting pretzel nubs while singing the fab fey-hop "Fly Eagles Fly" in your Frankford saloons. I know you choked when the Eagles choked. It wasn't a sin to tear up. (Though listening to y'all getting gay wit' dat Whey Cooler song is another matter.) With your recent loutish displays of masculine bustle — pelting Sonya "Black Widow" Thomas with beer at the belchy bacchanal of Wing Bowl, getting tipsy while ogling Jaguars and desperate housewives you can't afford at the Car Show, hitting those illegal silicone padding parties — you earned enough boys-own credit. So cry. I'm saving my tears for tomorrow's farewell to departing Daily News ed-in-chief Zack Stalberg. I'll miss his wit (Yo!, Girlfriends), his dedication to a people-paper's pulse (21 on the Spot, which is 20 too many), and his CIA-guy sunglasses-at-night cool. His DN cover hangs right next to my T.O. and my Rizzo. … Talk about quitting: Is Wing Bowl winner El Wingador retiring? From chewing? Chicken? Retire that haircut, mon. … Twenty-four years. Still honking: Feb. 11's Honk for Mumia car horn protest at noon. Yawn. … Two stories of Philly expats in Brooklyn: Singer/songwriter Amos Lee (does he ever miss Devin Greenwood?) celebrates his eponymous Blue Note CD debut by touring with old guys Bob Dylan and Merle Haggard in March. Meanwhile, Direct from NYC producer Earl "Enya Buttox" Dax celebrates his move by feuding with Delaware-based gay rag EXP over who's responsible for bringing Lady Bunny to L'Etage. Bitches! Dax shows who's boss by starting his Vanguard Sunday weekly at L'Etage with ex-Pennsylvania Ballet dancer-turned-drag-diva Edie on Feb. 13 (dates with Kenny Mellman and Myra Bazell are imminent). … Wanna get married? Not to me, stupid; to yer sweetheart. Reverend Elizabeth Fiend of Big Tea Party/DUTV fame wants you. Not only will she marry you, many of you, for free at Bar Noir, March 14, but she'll be filming the blessed event for a documentary. You need a month to get papers. Contact bigteaparty@hotmail.com or hit Bar Noir on Feb. 14 and register while Jealous Type and We the People rock out. … Like it raw? Check Philly bare-ass photographer Tony Ward's book/gallery party for Best of Erotica at Manhattan's powerHouse Gallery (68 Charlton) Feb. 10-12. The book won't be out till fall. But retinal retention will help you jerk off until you get the book in your hot hands. Also on the loco-photo tip, Nikolas Greenblatt's design studio 2 one 5 took creative responsibility for the premiere issue of Snow Board mag. Brrr. … Cellist/crooner Monica McIntyre wants an intern to help her with e-mails, phone calls and errands. She'll negotiate for payment. Contact cellomama@msn.com. That, or you can help me box up my lock-o'-hair collection and massage my cuticles. … You heard it here first when we rumored that the gay-ish comfort food classic Judy's Café was going away. Sadly, it's true. But in a nice way. Owner Eileen Plato is selling to David Ansill of Pif. Judy's will stay open until a deal is inked. … We knew. But rumor o' the week: Which local 'lectro-promoter was spied handcuffing a not-so-pure missus to his black leather home-version hobby horse very recently? ...

Boxing promoter Damon Feldman claims he will get the heavyweight division winner of his all-Philly boxing challenge (March 24, Spectrum) to fight Mike Tyson in Philly in June. Keep your ears covered. …

William Horton — Prince Theater employee, M. Night Shyamalan's personal projectionist, T-shirt maker and all-round production dude — just launched a local filmmaker site, www.pfvm.com. Its purpose? To get and give the networking lowdown on all aspects of Philly film; to get y'all to lend input; to amuse himself. Get in there. … We residencies: While Dobro-ist/Tom Wolfe dress-a-like Mike "Slo-Mo" Brenner and MC Mic Wrecka take on Tuesdays at The Fire starting Feb. 15, the luscious Undergirl, led by b-day babe Amy DiCamillo, finds purring punk delight on Mondays, going from Tritone (Feb. 14) to Bar Noir (Feb. 21) and back (Feb. 28). … While you celebrate the Grammys eating lo-carb bars and drinking Sparks, The Roots'll host a pre-Grammy jam session with Jada Pinkett Smith at an undisclosed Los Angeles location with Jay-Z, Usher and Dave Chappelle expected to show. I'm starting to hate The Roots. Or these lo-carb bars. One or the other. … He doesn't look Young Friend-ey. Happy birthday to www.Philly1.com (whazzat?) CEO Harry Cook who had a "Jewish Roaring 20s" jam thrown by the Young Friends of Harry B. Cook at TPDS Club. Oy. … Forget those annoying Vermont Teddy Bears. Give blood for Valentine's. The College of Physicians want y'all to honor late Mütter Museum director, the wonderful Gretchen Worden, by participating in a Memorial Blood Drive at the College (19 S. 22nd St.) on V-Day. How Gretchen! Call Nava Hall, 215-563-3737 ext. 273 to register.