February 10-16, 2005

naked city

Rubbed the Right Way

Why I made an appointment to have another woman fondle my husband: a love story.

by Helen i-lin Hwang

For many couples, there's a period in the relationship when romance is the last thing on the mind.

I have an excuse: My body has been experiencing mind-boggling contortions not unlike those seen in Alien. I am pregnant. Very pregnant. With Valentine's Day looming, I thought a couple's massage might rekindle a bit of the fire that's been doused in prenatal preparation.

To some, a couple's massage might sound like a kinky experiment. In reality, the process consists of two people lying on massage tables in the same room and being simultaneously kneaded into relaxation by two therapists. Exotic vacation resorts offer this luxury pastime as a matter of course. In Philly, the service is not so easy to find. A few years ago, I called around and was received as if I were looking for the type of illicit "massage" that often comes with a "happy ending."

One of the few places in town that offers legit couple's massages is Total Serenity, a holistic day spa located right off Rittenhouse Square. Escaping the noisy, snowy streets, I stepped into a reception area with warm cobalt blue walls, the sound of water trickling from a fountain, a vase of gladiolas and a single bird-of-paradise. Serenity indeed.

When my husband, Peter, finally arrived for our appointment, he looked grim. He doesn't like being poked and prodded. He's also easily tickled. I've dragged him on jaunts like this before, trying in vain to turn him into a spa whore like me. But I'd never witnessed him getting spa-ed (unless you count that painful-looking ear cleaning he got on the streets of Saigon).

A staff member took us to a private locker room where we changed into robes and slippers. We were then led to a dark "meditation room" with plush couches and opera music pouring through the speakers. Since neither of us meditate, we stared at each other for what seemed much longer than 15 minutes. But despite our skepticism, as we sat, the "total serenity" began to engulf us.

We were eventually led to a long, narrow room where we lay down on side-by-side heated massage tables. Most of the time, one of us was face down or had eye pillows blinding us so we could only feel each other's presence. At this spa, the general policy for couple's massages is to have a masseuse work on men and a masseur on women. Obena, a short-haired, sturdy-looking woman, worked on Peter while Rick, a very tall, young guy worked on me. They kneaded knotty flesh from our scalps, necks, torsos, arms, right down to our toes. The warmth of the room and the soothing touch of the therapists quickly dispelled the discomfort of being packed into this room. At one point, I did catch a glimpse of the masseuse's hands running down my husband's chest. I have to admit it's strange watching another woman touch your partner in an intimate way. Momentarily panicked, I shot a piercing, loving gaze at Peter, but he wasn't even looking. He seemed completely enveloped in his own mellowness.

The spa is so successful with Valentine's massages that they've turned the entire month of February into the "Month of Love and Appreciation." Their special includes a body treatment with a choice of chocolate or chocolate-cherry scented oil that acts as an aphrodisiac. (The scents can also stimulate contractions, so we did not partake.)

The end of the massage was signaled by the masseuse putting my hand in Peter's hand while both our eyes were covered with eye masks. Peter later admitted he'd become so relaxed he'd fallen asleep and was startled to have someone's hand in his. He wasn't quite sure whose fingers he was holding.

The owner confessed to me afterward that her staff noticed the edgy expression on my husband's face when he walked in. To my amazement, Peter remarked how he was "pleasantly surprised" by the experience and the Serenity staff noticed he was smiling when we left. After the spa treatment, we went to a pub for dinner (and a pint of Boddington's for Peter). For him, this was where the romance kicked in. We held hands and talked about how we were going to raise our kid. We went home, cuddled and Peter went to sleep like a baby. Not exactly re-igniting the passion, but the romance of this time alone is probably as good as it's going to get … until we find a decent babysitter.

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Some spas offering couples massage

1. Total Serenity Day Spa, 2108 Walnut St., 215-557-0678, www.totalserenitydayspa.com, $170-$450.
2. Art + Science, 4430 Main St., Manayunk, 215-482-2242, www.artplusscience.com, $140 for couple's massage.
3. Richel D'Ambra Spa at The Ritz-Carlton, 10 Avenue of the Arts, 215-523-8035, www.richeldambra.com, $250-$396.
4. Spa Nirvana, 1633 Spruce St., 215-790-9333, www.spanirvana.net, $110-$145.