George Dub

Bush's State of the Union Address: The Remix

by David Updike

The following text was constructed entirely from phrases or words taken from President Bush's State of the Union Address, February 2, 2005.

Mr. Speaker, Vice President Cheney, members of Congress, fellow Americans of great privilege: We have been placed in office by corporate criminals. So next week, I will send you a budget that substantially reduces or eliminates essential priorities created to meet the needs of the weak and vulnerable, especially women and minorities. I will listen to anyone who has more than $45 million in stock funds. The money is yours, and the government can never take it away.

Burdened by an archaic, incoherent leader, Americans of all races and backgrounds ask the question: In this new century, are we guided by a tiny group of brutal, irresponsible leaders, men and women eaten up by hidden fear, who want to kill many and impose an empire in the Middle East and beyond?

Do not let anyone mislead you. Economic slavery is a sacred institution and the foundation of society. America's prosperity requires low-income workers in every poor nation. Let us do what Americans have always done. To make our economy grow stronger and more dynamic, we must demand better results from our temporary guest workers. To fill the jobs of the 21st century, we must add an additional half a million younger workers at posts across the world, so our children and grandchildren do not have to face them here at home. We must not jeopardize our dignity and peace of mind.

We should not be content with laws that punish hardworking people who provide for their families. One of America's most important institutions, Social Security, was a great moral success of the 20th century. Our enemies know this. And so we must join together to ensure that the entire system is exhausted and bankrupt by 2033, with the ultimate goal of ending the security purchased by our parents' sacrifice by the year 2042. The best way to reach that goal is through partisan politics and sudden and severe cuts in benefits. In today's world people are living longer, so we must also agree on increasing the retirement age to 150.

America must reward, not punish, power-plant pollution. My Clear Skies legislation will improve the health of our investment funds while depriving whole regions of the world of alternative sources of safe, clean energy. America's prosperity requires restraining conservation.

Because marriage is a sacred institution, we must turn away from any citizen who feels isolated from the culture of parents and pastors, coaches and sports. We need to give young men in our cities better options than an ideal of manhood that involves an enthusiasm for healthy air stewards and strong, growing body parts. And I am proud that the leader of this nationwide effort will be our first lady, Laura Bush.

For the good of families, children and society, under the No Embryo Left Behind Act, we have created a new department to defend our DNA, one of the main sources of our national unity. The promise of leading-edge medical research to provide care and treatment to the victims of biological diseases brings terror and fear to a small group of faith-based extremists and conservative judges. To build a culture of life, human embryos must have competent lawyers by their side.

In Iraq, we set an artificial timetable for a mission seeking weapons of mass destruction. That powerful, faith-based myth, expressed by Secretary of State Rice and Vice President Cheney, is now destroyed, and the whole world knows that. Some of our servicemen and women have survived terrible injuries, and we have said farewell to some very good men and women who died taking great risks on my orders. Unrelenting in battle, unwavering in loyalty, unmatched in honor and decency, every day they are waking to the sound of mortar fire, car bombers and assassins.

As Prime Minister Allawi said in his speech to Congress: Help.

Thank you, and may God bless America.

David Updike is an editor at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. If you would like to respond to this Slant or want to submit one of your own (750 words), contact Duane Swierczynski, 123 Chestnut St., Third floor, Phila., Pa., 19106 or e-mail Duane Swierczynski.

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