icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

Ever since the Eagles got face-fucked, my competitive juices've been boiling. But, with no desire to twist frigging balloon animals for Phillies Phanstormer auditions, nor the mathlete-ism to deal with epilepsy-inducing scoring screens at University City's Strikes Bowling Lounge, I did what I always do: watched bitchy fashionistas. In this instance, I caught Philly University grad Jay McCarroll and a handful of other up-and-coming designers claw their eyes out on BRAVO's Project Runway. Icepackers know I've touted McCarroll since spying the then-student's futuristic, plastic-fantastic designs back in 1997. "So you going to put your claws in now?" asks show finalist McCarroll, 30, from Lehman, Pa., after his filmed-at-9 a.m. Fashion Week showcase. Nope. I want perennial underdog McCarroll to win. "It's as hard as fuck to compete against Puffy Combs and Jennifer Lopez," says McCarroll of the fashion world's competition. "You feel unless you kiss ass like Zac Posen, you'll never make it." McCarroll knew he'd be in PR's finals — not just through sartorial talents, but by being himself, albeit a more obnoxious version. "I wasn't going to be a sociopath retard strategic monster like Wendy Pepper!" This leads us to last night's finale and what the hell McCarroll's reported utterance, "I just don't want to be creatively raped" (overheard by Gawker after the top-secret final fashion show last week), meant. Did he tip his hand early? McCarroll denies the phrase was in any way victory-indicative. "Any artist would say that." Forget about raped. Having to report to a parole board of bleached-almond Banana Republic corporate heads (the winner's "prize") seems worse. Still, he ain't saying. "I have to be politically correct," says McCarroll. "Don't be so proddy." Methinks the lady doth protest too much. I predict McCarroll won Project Runway. "If you had $10 million to split the lawsuit's cost with me, I'd tell you right now." Even if I'm wrong, McCarroll still wins, as he's currently selling gobs from his www.jaymccarroll.com site. "If nothing else, I've been real. Growing up, being a weirdo, what else could I be now? I'd sell out in a second," he laughs. "But, at least I've never kissed ass." There's time. … Speaking of fashion, I loved hearing 'bout Trauma Queens/Live Not on Evil's fashion-kvetch at Khyber. LNoE made fun of Queens' flannel/bell-bottom attire. TQ made sport of Evil's creepers and spandex. … WHOWHATWHERE: Philly's very own Neptunes' protege Roscoe P. Coldchain shot video footage for his Star Trak label CD at DJ Rahsaan's Hustle & Grind party at Tragos. "Lotsa popazudas, no Pharrell," says Rahsaan. Who was sniffing 'round the pole at Cheerleaders last week with DJ Jacky Bam Bam? Sully from Godsmack, Butch Walker, American Hi Fi and Electric Angels. Eighties popper/Playboy poser Debbie Gibson was supposed to be signing her new Naked CD at Tower Broad Street the other day. Instead, she autographed more copies of her March spread for guys who had to be 50 when she was 14. Speaking of Playboy, I ran into N.J.'s Nicole Wood, 1993 Playmate/makeup artist, at the mag's Manhattan party for its mansion video game at Avalon. She told me her Marlton Beauty Lounge is soon turning into an East Coast franchise. While my spy caught Nicolette Sheridan (will she get off T.O. 's dick!?) at the Philly airport spraying an unwilling victim with perfume on her way out of town ("She's so cheesy and scary," says my operative), rumor has Matthew McConaughey (March 2) and David Duchovny (TLA's April fest) visiting Philly for their own schmoozefests. … Matt Pond PA gets on Last Call with Carson Daly and lands their cover of Oasis' "Champagne Supernova" on Feb. 24's The OC! Philly must've found ass to kiss at Daly. Not only was Capitol Years Daly's house band in '04, Pepper's Ghost is doing likewise in April. … While taking a break from recording her CD with Figgs' Pete Donnelly at Palais Royale Studio (co-owned with Scott Bricklin of 4 Way Street), folkster Betsy Spivak plays Pontiac for National Pistachio Day Feb. 26. I mention 4 Way because they're reuniting (swallow the stomach acid!) for one night (promise?!) for young pop local Seth Kallen's tsunami relief benefit at World Café Live March 2. … "Met" Thies' "Rock Booty Jam" (Feb. 26, Club 218, South St.) stars Evil Jared (Bloodhound Gang) and Trashlight Vision. … I missed the Weiss bros' anniversary party/2005 Mr. Leather Contest at Pure. Guess I just wasn't feeling gay, 'K? What I won't miss is the Weiss/PAPERstreet teaming at Transit for the weekly Saturday "Block Six" bash Feb. 26 with Tommie Sunshine. That is, if I'm back from Larry Cohen and Barry Guten's Feb. 25 opening of their 32° at The Quarter at Tropicana Casino in Atlantic City. We'll be looking for women and men with more than 7 percent body fat. I'm an equal opportunity fattyboombalatti spotter. … Since Icepack's day one, I've heard comparisons (writing-wise, every-wise) to Hunter S. Thompson. I bid him a sad, sweet adieu.

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