March 17-23, 2005

music

icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

"Rock 'n' roll's a loser's game." Ian Hunter wrote that line 30 years ago with forlorn resignation. I hate people who quote song lyrics. But fuck it. Rock. It's a disgusting place roight this moment. Two weeks after its demise, alter-nobodies are still fighting over Y100-FM. Did I like 90 percent of the music on that station? No. But like the music or not, the site www.Y100rocks.com is getting support from visiting activists like Hot Hot Heat and kind words from more than 50,000 fans and Weezer. (Is that good?) And that said, I can't stand 90 percent of the music on any station. Not satellite. Not publicly funded shit. Has there been any true alternative music since Sun Ra? No. Maybe I'm annoyed people had to get fired to hear more Mario. Maybe it's Mario's creepy sideburns. Creepier still was having reality realtor Mark Burnett's peeps in town, holding private auditions at the Grape Street for the forthcoming Rock Star, wherein singers perform in front of the surviving members of INXS to replace lead singer Michael Hutchence, who croaked in 1997 while masturbating. Dag. Eerier is that I wound up in an online chat with Rock Star casting director (Robert Russell) who must've thought, like their advert asked, that I had a "style much like Dave Navarro and Bono," or a "youthful look." After telling me that this wasn't American Idol but rather "serious business," he asked me to sell him on who I was. "Are you "Chrissie Hynde' or "Sheryl Crow'?" he asked. "Girl … if you wanna be selected to audition you need to do better than that." I never did go to the audition. But I did decide: I'm a Chrissie. … Just a month after Kevin Meeker (owner of Philadelphia Fish & Co.) opened his quick success Cork in Westmont, N.J., with celebrated Jennifer Huynh, (of Le Me Toujours) as his exec chef, the two have suddenly parted ways. While neither was available for comment, we hear Meeker'll handle Cork with more American than French/Asian in his menu with happily bizarre chef Anthony Bonett taking a bigger chunk of Fish & Co. … Prison shall not hold Philly's Beanie Sigel from dropping dirty science as his new CD, The B., hits finally on March 29, courtesy Damon Dash. The thug mogul, last smelled in these parts with a trail of hemp wafting behind him at The Woodsman premiere, is making B the first release from his Damon Dash label. Dash's ex-partner, Jay-Z, head of Roc-a-Fella/Def Jam, has picked on Philly's Sean Garrett. The writer/producer who's worked with Usher (Confessions), 112 and Omarian will exec-produce and write for Hova's first Def Jam signing, Tierra Marie. … New members? Bassist/enthusiast of German hip-hop Ben Morgan rejoins Philly's Be Careful Little Hands (now back from trying to live in Brooklyn) for their March 19 gig at North Star. They'll share the evening with the electro-throbby Moqita who'll debut a vocal performance from the usually nonverbal JG. On March 20, happily hickish Paul Edelman and the Jangling Sparrows' Tin Angel gig finally features new recruits Amy "She Haw" Pickard and Erik Bandell (who's also a new recruit to Northern Arms, Keith Richard Pierce of Perils of Pauline fame's new echo-flexed spooky pop ensemble. … We know it's past their b-days, but we loved the invitations from 32°s Ira Zipper ("one zip away from a good time," "come drink from Ira's martini") and Natasha, Pure's "Pink" Trivia Queen mistress/MC/songstress who celebrated with Steve Cohen on piano at a bash whose invite read "Object in flyer is older than she appears." … WHOWHATWHERE: Sexy Beast Ben Kingsley hung at the Weekend Film Fest at the Prince and no one yelled "No! No! No!" at him. Speaking of beasts, we must admit witchy Ashlee Simpson has good hair. So maybe you could hang with her stylist Luke O'Conner at Giovanni & Pileggi March 18 and ask him how he resists the urge to smack her silly. Or you could be the first to donate 10 inches of hair (to the Locks of Love Foundation) and maybe get Ashlee Tower tix (March 19), get backstage and resist the urge yourself. Allen Hornblum's Irish mob tome on the doings of the K&A Gang, Confessions of a Second Story Man, may not be out on the Temple U Press imprint until June. But that isn't stopping Tobey Maguire, Vince Vaughn and Edward Norton from reading galleys in anticipation of perhaps playing gang leader Junior Kripplebauer. And from our couple of the week — local boxing wrestling/promoter Damon Feldman and freak-a-deakie ex-ice skater Tonya Harding — my fave quote. "I am Tonya Harding and I am not a side show." That's what Feldman tells me she said to him after Feldman tried to get her to wrestle (not box as he had previously booked and she agreed) transvestite Daisy D in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. "I don't want to be a big gossip person," added Feldman, "but she really screwed me and made threats. She is crazy!" Men!