March 17-23, 2005

slant

Life in the Big City

Why you shouldn't move your kids to the suburbs.

by Nancy French

Conversations with my mother invariably end with the question, "How long will you be stuck in the city?" — as if our apartment manager was holding us at gunpoint demanding rent. Since we have two children, the question comes up regularly from those who equate suburban living with affordable housing and quality schools. I challenge that assumption, having had both experiences. For years, we had a yard, a garage and a brand-new McHouse which was clean, inexpensive and spacious. The sprinkler in our yard provided constant entertainment for our children, as well as the neighbors' children who had some sort of "sprinkler" radar that alerted them within 20 seconds of water being turned on. There's something all-American about the first time the neighbor borrows a cup of sugar or offers to pick up your mail during vacation. So as we drove away from the subdivision, there were bitter tears in my eyes.

For the past year, however, we've lived right here — in a Center City high-rise building with a doorman and a view of the skyline — and we've never been happier. While there is definitely something to be said for the suburbs, there are very compelling reasons to stay in the city even after you become parents.

1. Walking makes life simpler. Back in the burbs, taking my daughter to school meant 20 minutes on the interstate in van-to-van traffic while feeding her breakfast from a McDonald's bag. But now that the hectic morning commute has been eliminated, my husband gets to share in a quiet morning stroll with her to her school before walking to work. Even running errands is an opportunity to exercise, get sun and explore unfamiliar streets and shops. Walking burns calories and eliminates "van-spread" — the theory that you expand proportionally to the size of your vehicle.

2. City-dwelling is more neighborly. City dwellers don't have artificial barriers between them like fences. This means we have ample opportunity to befriend each other. Before we even exit our building, we're greeted in the elevators and say hello to the security guards. When we leave, we go out onto the street shared by thousands of other Center City residents. During our excursions, we walk with the same pedestrians, see the same coffee vendors and jump over the same homeless people every day. This creates a sense of community. Also, friendships develop at the local parks. It's amazing how much you can socialize while making sure your kids aren't abducted by the guy sleeping under the slide.

3. Life here requires less maintenance. Yes, suburbia means a yard. But no matter how tiny, you still have to maintain it. That means work. Never much for unnecessary effort, my husband sometimes mowed the front yard to make the neighbors happy, yet let the fenced back yard grow out earning us the dubious distinction of having a yard mullet. In the city, however, we can visit Fairmount Park and enjoy as much of the carefully manicured nature we want without worrying that the neighbors' grass is an eighth-inch shorter than ours.

4. The city is a melting pot. My daughter goes to kindergarten in a public inner-city school. Every morning, we load her up with the necessities: baloney sandwich, juice box and flak jacket. The school has a great cross section of ethnicities and even teaches 30 minutes of Chinese every day — meaning (according to the latest school progress reports) she can be illiterate in two languages! This diversity was recently showcased at their Black History Month play, in which my blond-haired, blue-eyed daughter played the role of Martin Luther King's mother. Martin's father was Asian. Martin, in a surprise twist, was black. Earnestly, they dramatized his childhood in which he fought against racism and bigotry. When an adorable Chinese girl yelled out, "I'm not playing with you because you're black and I'm white!" it was a very poignant moment. Because no matter what you think about the city, it provides a racial mix enabling children to grow up in the middle of Philadelphia's melting pot. So, even though the rent is exorbitant and the potholes are deep, raising children in Philadelphia is a long-term investment worth making. Just don't tell my mother.

Nancy French is a freelance writer. If you would like to respond to this Slant or contribute one of your own (800 words), contact Duane Swierczynski, editor in chief, 123 Chestnut Street, Phila., Pa., 19106 or e-mail Duane Swierczynski.