March 24-30, 2005

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Most murders occur in certain trouble neighborhoods, but police say they can't be everywhere at once to prevent them. "We recommend that people do what we do," says Commissioner Sylvester Johnson. "Stay away from those neighborhoods."
Minus 4

National politicians refuse to meet with Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams, but during a Philadelphia visit, City Councilman Jack Kelly greets him with a miniature Liberty Bell. Kelly's plan foiled when Adams refuses to wear it around his neck.
Even

Doc Watson's owner allegedly tried to duck an L&I raid by locking about 100 illegal drinkers in an upstairs apartment. "Most fun I ever had at Doc Watson's," says 18-year-old punk kid, "and I've been coming here for years."
Plus 3

Hackers going by the name "Team Evil" break into city's Web site and erase the calendar page. Oh, wait, that was "Team Think Small."
Even

Almost a year after being demolished, the Vet site is still a pile of rubble. But don't clean it up; that's where Bowa lives now.
Minus 1

Some UPenn students oppose having Sonic Youth play their Spring Fling. "If we want to hear old liberals drone on and on," say students, "we'll go to class."
Minus 7

Cutbacks force Police Department to consider computerized sketch artists. We can't wait to see what the geniuses at Pixar do with the Fairmount Park rapist.
Minus 5

City announces plans for "spraygrounds," a series of fountains cheaper than swimming pools. "In other words," says Mayor Street, "I just bought a Slip 'N Slide and Milton's coming over with the clown sprinkler."
Minus 5

Total pluses: 3
Total minuses: 22
This week's total: -19
Last week's total: -2