March 24-30, 2005

music

icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

The divine Henri David will lead duck riders, drag doyennes and desperate politicos down South Street for Sunday's Easter Promenade. Henri's heart — hell, even those of the pols, for that day at least — is pure. Yet Councilman Michael Nutter will be home washing his tights while his buddies are in bonnets. Which is just as well. No man relentlessly seeking to ban smoking by any means necessary can be good or pure. His lungs may be clean. But is his conscience? Now that rents and buys are high and transit is costly, smoking in bars is all we got, jerk-off. No Easter hay for you. … Where religious fauna is concerned, there should've been leafy reeds on Palm Sunday for the return of Maya Arulpragasm — aka savage, Brit/Sri Lankan queen of scuffed ragga-baile-hop M.I.A. — to Hollertronix at UACA, with beau/producer/Holler-man Wes "Diplo" Gully. Anticipation had been heightened when everyone from Pitchfork to Philebrity (what Pitchfork makes Philebrity takes) claimed she wasn't being allowed into the country due to her often-questioned politics and those of her father, the alleged Tamil Tiger. "I was allowed in," said Arulpragasm, who was slowed in Britain before arrival in Austin. "But there were hold-ups. The FBI had to investigate my case — a matter of research." She was laughing as she said this at Gully's North Philly home. "I'm at his crack squat while he and the crew are holed up at the poshest hotel — Loews. I've got barely heating or hot water and he's got a hot tub." But it wasn't funny. "I don't like being told how to look, behave or carry myself by Immigration. That was a first." Musta been that rage (and a coupla drinks) that made her Ukie set so fab. … Hold this: When not hosting karaokes at Smoked Joint (the last of which found Food Network stars Mark Silverstein and Jill Cordes singing up a storm), Ali Waks is busy running Texas Hold 'Em poker matches at saloons like Wild Onion and Fadó with Nick Baker and the Dougs, Reilly and Hudson, of J2D2 (www.j2d2.com). "There's 12 games per week with an attendance of 50 on a slow night, 80 when it's busy," says Waks of card crowds filled mostly with boys. "But women who show are no novices. Many a night the Queen is not the only lady left at the table." … Only 88 underage drinkers caught on an unlicensed floor of Doc Watson's over da weekend? Did they check the closet? … What would the Beach Boys've sounded like had they stayed in that garage getting beaten by their dad? Philly's The A-Sides, whose charming, Brian McTear-produced Hello Hello gets its big release March 26 at the Khyber. … The lox is licked: David Auspitz sold his family's landmark, Fourth Street's Famous Deli, to Russ "Kibitz" Cowan. Somewhere a cabbage is unstuffing itself in tears. … Is the roast-pork-infamous Tony Luke Inc. looking at S. Third St.'s Foggy Goggle (somebody has to) for a billiards enterprise? … In "appreciation" (their words) of Jennifer Bates' GERM, the Fishtown gallery/bookstore dedicated to all questions unanswerable, Davids Talento and E. Williams (the dark cabaretech godfather who hasn't played Philly for six years) will go live at Bar Noir March 28. … Appaaarantlee, ahh live ina smaart nayberhud: Molly Russakoff's Ninth Street Bookstore now hosts its own fun e-mail newsletter written with new employee Matt Schwartz, ex-ed-in-chief of the Philadelphia Independent, his ex-staffers Erik Bader and Jacob Weinstein, and Russakoff's 11-year-old, Carla. And the kid outwrites Bader! … Cinemarama: You thought that One Philadelphia rag was just about … OK, we don't know what it's about, either. But Compressionfilms (the film co. and the mag are part of Engine Media) is distributing Malevolence, a horrorshocka screening at the Roxy. Compression's also been responsible for editing/CGI work on 2002's 13th Child (One Philadelphia still has the Jersey Devil from 13th in its Fairmount offices) as well as a due-soon video with Duncan Wong, Sting's yoga instructor. Ugh. Another numbered ooky film, The 4th Dimension (starring Lous Lippa and Morabito), from Temple grads Tom Mattera and Dave Mazzoni just wrapped. Meanwhile, Tesia Barone and Amy Roy are gathering cash to film their sexy comedy, Rent Control, by throwing a benefit at the Khyber March 24 with Adam Monaco and We The People. (As if that pairing will bring in any cash. Ssiike!) Eric Moyer's local LumpyRock Productions begins shooting Halfway House Christmas in town April 1 with Bob Romanus (Fast Times at Ridgemont High), Bobcat Goldthwait (or his voice, anyway) and Viva La Bam-ed Ryan Dunn. Dunn will be filming his own shit at the Troc March 25 for an upcoming DVD. If you don't go, he won't film, and that particular cycle of hell will cease. Just saying. Then there's Bar Pigs from local illusion manufacturer/producer PN Magic's Alex Lourido; it's a man-centric pilot starring wretched midget Beetlejuice and www.phillyamateurs.com porn boy Tough Tony Chiu. Makes you miss M. Night, dunnit? ... Trashy fashionista splashanista b-day wishes go to tallest, sassiest scarf designer K. Vaughn, to sturdy Mark Ax (co-owner of Matthew Izzo), to record promoter/producer Lawrence Bracey, and to Tragos, the Rit-House lounge celebrating year one March 24 with Chris Udo and Brendan O.