March 24-30, 2005

tv party!

Redheaded Stepchildren

Bred on blockbusters, can HBO watchers be satisfied with the new crop of slow burners?

Over the last few years, in the wake of iconic shows like The Sopranos and Sex and the City, HBO has learned a hard lesson: The only second act after a blockbuster is a sequel to a blockbuster. And yet — and this is very admirable — they are refusing to go back to the well. While network TV seems to splinter and replicate itself every time it feels it's minted a new hit — see all the flavors of CSI and Law & Order — HBO scavenges for the new like a wild street dog. The reasoning is simple: What with up to 13 HBOs to choose from, as well as On Demand, HBO shows live forever in reruns, where network shows do not, cannot. (Unless they hit the syndication bonus rounds, which is a different kind of forever in TV Land.) So for the cable network to roll out Sopranos: The Cold Case Files would be moot; it would dilute the original brand. It would be New Coke.

That dilemma couldn't be more present in my mind when I watch Carnivàle and Deadwood, the two hour-long drama series that HBO is currently airing. Where The Sopranos, Sex and the City and Six Feet Under lived in the now, these shows are period pieces. Carnivàle is a spooky-layered onion that takes place during the Great Depression and unravels weekly a sinister tale of possession and hard-luck sideshow life. Each week, a new layer unravels; you don't always know where it's going, but it almost doesn't matter — the entire show is a set piece wrapped in half-baked Flannery O'Connor-isms and the age-old struggle between Good and Evil, and from time to time, it will scare the pants off you. Deadwood, meanwhile, chronicles life in the Old West in a way you've never seen it before: Plenty of double-crossin' and pistol-whippin' for sure, but also heroin, cynicism and what can only be described as pure, wild, Technicolor profanity. Oh yeah, and lots of fuckin'. For someone who's never been big on Westerns, I can assure you: It makes all the difference in the world.

Both shows are, in that way your not-as-smart-as-you friends and co-workers would say, "hard to get into." They both boast rather large ensemble casts (it's never a good sign when there's so many people on a show that certain characters look alike). Both bear the unfortunate curse of period pieces; if the show does not visually appeal to a pre-existing notion of what you personally like, you're probably not going to bother with digging into either Deadwood's or Carnivàle 's rather labyrinthine plots. And as a result, sad to say, neither of them tap into the zeitgeist quite like a Tony Soprano, Carrie Bradshaw or Larry David ever could.

But here's the good news: Like The Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm and all of the HBO shows that matter, both Carnivàle and Deadwood are screaming straight through their second seasons; HBO shows seem to have a knack for crushing the sophomore slump. (In the case of Carnivàle , this is brought into especially high relief by Unscripted, which has been following Carnivàle and, sorry, is classic HBO dogshit of the highest order.) As Carnivàle twists towards its season finale this week, blue Gatorade blood and evil tattoos may just captivate a generation of goombah- hungry watchers after all. Meanwhile, with Deadwood's second season just gearing up with more-than-usual levels of violence, HBO might be learning another lesson the networks (and The Sopranos, for that matter) knew all along: If it bleeds, it leads.

Deadwood airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO; Carnivàle's season finale airs this Sunday at 10 p.m.

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TV/Tivo Tips!
March 24-April 6

Globe Trekker

PBS, Thu., March 24, 10:30 p.m.

There is no reason to watch this show, other than for staring at the cute girl who hosts, wishing, hoping, just dying you could go back in time and get those stupid Teva sandals off of her feet. Women of the '90s: Some also fell.

Extreme Dodgeball
GSN, Sun., March 28, midnight

Oh, they told me it was true, but I didn't believe. Fat, tattooed goths versus muscleheads versus geeks, all competing for cash and prizes. Dignity, of course, not being among the spoils.

Trippin'
MTV, Mon., March 28, 10:30 p.m.

This is a new show on MTV that features Cameron Diaz and what one can only assume are her not-as-hot and perhaps even obnoxious friends traveling to unlikely destinations around the globe. Check this space for a petition to send her to Port Richmond.

America's Next Top Model
WPSG 57, Wednesdays, 8 p.m., rebroadcasts Fridays, 9 p.m.

While this season clearly lacks the supreme bitchtastic punch of the last, ANTM will still have you cackling in delight like the catty shrew you know you are. Or at least, Tyra is. And I'm not even getting started on plastic-surgery-disaster/vagina- dentata Janice Dickinson.