April 14-20, 2005

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Residents of Osage Avenue who turned down $150,000 for their faulty homes are awarded $530,000 each by federal court. As per the settlement, Wilson Goode will deliver the checks via helicopter.
Plus 3

Former Phillie Rico Brogna says he refused when a Philadelphia pitcher asked Brogna to inject him in the ass with steroids. Brogna did, however, take credit for injecting John Kruk's ass with a blend of Cheez Whiz and Tastykake jelly.
Minus 1

Police bust a brothel in Bella Vista. And another valued City Paper advertiser bites the dust.
Minus 2

Paul Green says he was rejected when he pitched the Rock School documentary on his rock school to VH1, which is now debuting a show starring Gene Simmons called Rock School. And a dozen slightly out-of-tune guitars gently weep in unison.
Even

By the end of the year, Mayor Street's "Wireless Philadelphia" plan could be operating in some neighborhoods. His, for instance.
Plus 1

Pagans throw party to send a message to the Hell's Angels. And that message is: "We're bi-curious."
Even

Terrell Owens says his contract holdout is business, not personal. No word on where his leg stands on the issue.
Minus 2

An 85-year-old West Philly woman finishes high school. "That was one long fucking essay question," she sighs.
Plus 1

Total pluses: 5
Total minuses: -5
This week's total: 0
Last week's total: -8