The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Local anglers report that the dreaded "Frankenfish," a voracious eater with the ability to wriggle short distances on land, are at large again. What's the big deal? That describes half of City Council.
Minus 1

June pay increase will bump many Philadelphia City Council members' salaries into six figures, making it one of the best-compensated councils in the country. Andrew Hohns still sucking up for free.
Minus 4

Debate rages over Abraham Lincoln's sexuality at Philadelphia's Equality Forum. At issue: whether to change that old saying to "Queer as a five-dollar bill."
Even

Attorneys bicker over the level of access the FBI will have to State Sen. Fumo's computer data. We're betting he's Googled himself quite a bit.
Even

In celebration of the R1 line's 20th birthday, SEPTA hands out car deodorizers for those who'd rather get to the airport in a cab with a driver who "had onions for lunch." Also hands out free binoculars for watching your plane take off while you sit waiting at the Eastwick stop.
Minus 1

Consultant sentenced to 30 months in prison for bilking city of $130,000 earmarked to help teens considered high suicide risks. "Well," she offers, "if any of you are alive in 30 months, I'll make it up to you."
Plus 2

FBI agent replies to Daily News' "FBI: Too Busy for Murder" headline. That reply: "We've been too busy trying to get a dead man thrown in jail."
Even

Northeast man charged with murdering a former co-worker says he was motivated by a joke told seven years ago. Bell Curve sends FTD Don't Kill Us Bouquets to Wilson Goode, Milton Street, Tom Knudsen and all those monkeys who died in the zoo fire.
Minus 3

Total Pluses: 2
Total Minuses: 9
This Week's Total: -7
Last Week's Total: 5

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