May 5-11, 2005

slant

The SpongeBob Gospels

Forget church and state. How about separation of church and school?

by Nancy French

Imagine your child coming home from public kindergarten saying he's just seen a video on why Jesus is the Messiah. Or perhaps a book explaining that gay couples who adopt children are sinful.

Some of you would storm the school with rainbow flags, others would tattoo "Separation of Church and State" on your foreheads, and the rest would throw your bodies in front of tomorrow's school buses in protest. You'd all be angry that beliefs inconsistent with your own were being pushed on your children.

Rightly so. Anyone who believes in freedom of conscience should protest with you.

So when the Philadelphia Inquirer ran the headline, "SpongeBob Show Launches District Effort on Families," it got my attention. Dale Mezzacappa reported the kindergartners at Solis-Cohen Elementary School in the Northeast were the first students in Philadelphia to see a video showing popular cartoon characters cavorting to the song "We Are Family."

I'd heard about the controversy surrounding the video, witnessed the contempt poured on its critics by the media, and even read accusations that SpongeBob is gay. (Although no gay man wears a tie with a short sleeved, poly-cotton blend button down.) SpongeBob quickly became a lightning rod for Christians who opposed this program.

Was all the anxiety for nothing? Was the video merely encouraging children to be nice in spite of differences? Or was it advocating the notion of moral equivalence between heterosexual and homosexual parents?

We learned the truth as Mezzacappa's article went on. Apparently, Lissa Johnson, the executive director of the Philadelphia district's academic office, also read a book to the children called All Families are Special by Norma Simon, as part of the accompanying curriculum. This book speaks of various family structures: children living with a single mom, grandparents, stepparents, or same-gender parents.

Now, as a Christian, I realize people live differently than my family does and I take great care in explaining this distinction to my kids. For example, if my 6-year-old asked me why Sally's daddy ran off with the secretary, leaving her mom to raise the kids, I definitely would not say, "Families may look different from your one-mom-and-one-dad household, but they're all special."

When she notices her friend has two mommies (as is the case), I'll tell her God wants children to have both a mommy and a daddy. The lesson that homosexual sex is wrong, however, will not come in a moral vacuum. Just because we teach our children gay sex is wrong, that doesn't automatically mean they'll treat children of gays poorly. This idea just exchanges one incorrect stereotype (that gays are subhuman and should be forced to change) for another (that Christians are mean and should be forced to change).

I have the right to bring my children up in the rich tradition of orthodox Christianity without the government interfering. But when schools teach that all family units are morally equivalent and should be celebrated, they are not making a value-neutral statement. Rather they are teaching a statement of belief (just like the statement about Jesus in the opening paragraph is). Their teaching also happens to go against two other great religions: Judaism and Islam.

Why not let orthodox Jews be Jewish, dedicated Christians be Christian and practicing Muslims be Muslim without watering down our faiths with government sponsored political correctness?

This is a rare opportunity for atheists, agnostics, Jews, Christians and Muslims to unite to protect our freedom of conscience and celebrate Philadelphia's religious diversity. If you are opposed to the Ten Commandments hanging in a classroom, you certainly should oppose the "We Are Family" agenda. Think of it as practicing the academic equivalent of the Golden Rule, maintaining intellectual consistency, and reminding the school district our kindergartners are not social guinea pigs.

Nancy French lives in Center City. If you would like to respond to this Slant or have one of your own (750 words), contact Duane Swierczynski, editor in chief, City Paper, 123 Chestnut St., third floor, Phila., PA 19106 or e-mail Duane Swierczynski.