Good Day, Sunshine

Why Fox-29's Good Day Philadelphia just might be the most loveable dog in town.

When I was a boy, instead of going down the shore and getting there in two hours like normal people, my entire family would pack up whatever jalopy we had at the time and embark on these marathon drives to Panama City Beach, Fla. The Redneck Riviera. We had people there. These rides were sweaty, joyless nightmares wherein I would listen to the same Cure cassette over and over and engage in competetive sleeping with myself. The only respite we ever had on these 18-hour drives was when we'd pull into a Motel 6 for the night because whoever was driving was literally falling asleep at the wheel.

It was then that I learned the value of big-city local news. Whether our layover was in Commerce, Ga., or Dothan, Ala., the newscasts in these podunk towns were always laughable: aggie reports from redneck Ron Burgundys, weather with the cracker equivalent of Lisa Thomas Laury, and brother, let's not even get started on the sports and local crime coverage. It made for a great stress reliever with the whole family; having been raised on Action News, all of us would cackle and caw every time the anchor said somebody was "fixin'" to do something, or when the local accent rendered an entire news story completely indecipherable to Yankees. It was good, clean, post-Reconstruction fun.

I tell you all this, dear reader, because I am reminded of nothing so much as those backwater broadcasts when I awake these days to Fox-29's morning show, Good Day Philadelphia, a name with all the zing of a brown paper bag. Good Day is a the local morning show to end all local morning shows: a heady balance of feathery fluff and other fare so light it's a wonder your television doesn't float off its pedestal.

A cast of characters worthy of WKRP in Cincinnati or Fernwood Tonight greet the good people of this city each weekday morning: Jennaphr Frederick, a chirpy butterface who's apparently allergic to vowels; George Mallet, whose pointy hair makes him a perfect straight man at a newsdesk that could be mistaken for a cuckoo clock; Sue Serio, decked out in polar fleece most days (thanks for dressing up, hon) and doing the weather; and full-on dreamy Dorothy Krysiuk doing the traffic and working her mole for maximum cuteness.

Over the years, Good Day has had an evolution of sorts. Before it devised its current dream team, there was lots of experimenting. There was one guy who thought he was David Letterman. He was good for a while. Then they replaced him with Pat Croce, which was simply too good to last. But these days, the formula is down cold, and with people turning away from Good Morning America and the CBS morning show in droves, Good Day just might be a fact of life for decades to come.

A composite morning at Good Day: We lead with American Idol! No matter what! You hear me??? Next, we've got Sue on the Gray's Ferry Bridge looking for Fudgy the Whale or whatever his name is. Try not to snarf at the catcalls of passersby. Cut to a stringer — how about Janet Zappala — in the kitchen of some restaurant with some chef who hasn't seen 8 a.m. in three years. Oh, and you know, some news. Just a little bit. Don't freak out.

The good souls at Good Day might be lost when it comes to irony — and to be honest, snark is out of the question: These people act like they've never even heard of big brother Fox News. But they've got camp coming out the wazoo. And you know what? It turns out that camp is kind of in short supply these days. As are shaggy dog morning shows that are infuriatingly sweet and stupid. Just once before he dies, John Waters should come up 95 to direct a week's worth of Good Day. It would be like a hot knife through butter, culminating in Waters finally delivering on the big reveal — Sue Serio is a maaaaan, baby!

Good Day Philadelphia airs on Fox-29 weekdays from 6-9 a.m.

TV/Tivo Tips!
June 2-15

Hit Me Baby One More Time
Thu., June 2, 9 p.m., NBC
Oh no they dih'int: NBC rolls out various has-beens and forces them to compete with their own legends, American Idol-style. The deck here is more stacked than a totem pole made entirely of J-Lo ass clones. Not to be confused with ass clowns, but really: Tomato, tomahtoe.

Billy Graham Classic Crusades
Sat., June 4, 10 p.m., TBN-48
Watch this at home alone on a Saturday night. Get drunk on schnapps. You with me? You've just lived "Captain Jack," by Billy Joel. May God have mercy on your soul.

Child Stars of the'80s/ More Child Stars of the'80s
Sun., June 5, noon and 1 p.m., E!
From Tina Yothers to Nia Peeples, totally bonkers coked-out adolescent crash-and-burn bulimia and petty crime affects us all.

Super Troupers: Thirty Years of ABBA
Mon., June 6, 9 p.m., PBS
Astounding.

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