June 9-15, 2005

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

The Art Museum announces a $500 million expansion project. "We just sold a shitload of Dal'," says museum director Anne d'Harnoncourt.
Plus 2

Housing Authority receives a $17 million federal grant to build 100 houses in the Ludlow section of North Philly. "Suckas," says Anne d'Harnoncourt. "That's what we're spending on velvet fuckin' ropes."
Plus 6

Newborn infant found at 22nd and Shunk. Locals flock to the corner to light candles, hoping that he is the chosen one prophesied to bring balance to the mob.
Minus 2

Bouncer at Fat Tuesday is charged with attempted murder after scuffle causes a patron to go over the railing and fall 14 feet on his head. Here's to you, overaggressive Fat Tuesday bouncer, you're living our dream.
Plus 1

Abandoned anchor at the bottom of the Delaware is determined to be the cause of the Athos I oil spill. That anchor, sadly, was Beverly Williams.
Even

The Opera Company of Philadelphia is in the red and has fired five staff members. Exit interviews spanned three hours and four octaves.
Minus 1

The Dalí exhibit was one of the most popular in the Art Museum's history. "Yep, one of our new rooms is gonna be just a pool of saffron," says Anne d'Harnoncourt. "I'm so high right now."
Plus 4

Las Vegas casino company will likely purchase 13 acres of waterfront property in Fishtown. Let's hope that what happens in Fishtown stays in Fishtown.
Plus 3

City officials announce plans to melt guns and turn them into slides, seesaws and other playground equipment. Phase two: seized uncut cocaine in the sandbox.
Plus 3

Total Pluses: 19
Total Minuses: 3
This Week's Total: 16
Last Week's Total: -2