June 9-15, 2005
cover story
Ultimate Summer Fun: July
Photo By: Michael T. Regan  |
|
As Philadelphians, we've sort of had it with all the Independence Day crap. Save it for the tourists, yeah? For a new spin on that old yarn, assert your inalienable rights to ride two-wheeled by motoring over to the weekend-long Independence Day Scooter Rally, July 1-4. Or celebrate a kinder, gentler sort of freedom by making like Dorothy here (left) and throwing a Canada Day party, July 1. If you're looking to shake free of tyrannical inhibitions, try a naughty photo shoot, July 20, or showering the way nature intended, July 21, weather permitting.
FRIDAY, JULY 1
Today, give it up for the Great White North: Celebrate Canadian independence with a Canada Day Party! Have your friends come dressed as their favorite Canadians: Mike Myers, Alanis Morissette and Wayne Gretzky all work. For refreshments, bake a Maple Leaf cake and serve it with poutine (French fries drenched with gravy and melted cheese). If you're too lazy for the kitchen, just buy a case of Molson, invite over your closest homies, and giv'r! www.thumper.net/tlkmag/archive/fun/poutine. —JS
FRIDAY, JULY 1
Armageddon my ass over to Camden to see Def Leppard do the rock of ageds. 6:30 p.m., $45, Campbell's Field, with Bryan Adams. —PR |
SATURDAY, JULY 2
Grab your glowsticks and oversized pants and rave on! Local 13 is at it again with six areas to hop around to techno, trance, hardcore, drum 'n' bass, house, hip-hop and more. Bang is an annual indoor/outdoor music festival and an East Coast raver's wet dream. DJ Muggs of Cypress Hill, D.A.V.E. The Drummer, Shimon, Rob Gee and Josh Wink are just a few names on a bill of over 50 world-renowned DJs and MCs. 9 p.m.-6 a.m., 18 and up, $40/$35 in advance, Shampoo, 417 N. Eighth St., 215-922-7500, www.local13.com. —SO
Supporting cancer research was never so fun, or filling. Here's how Lick Leukemia works: Go to Penn's Landing (everyone else will be at Live 8). Pay five bucks. The folks at the Joshua Kahan Fund will give you a spoon, which will entitle you to as much ice cream as you can stuff down your gullet. One look at the horde of 7-year-olds bouncing off the walls of the tent, leaving strawberry-flavored, face-shaped smears on the canvas, and you'll wonder, "Where can I get me a waffle cone?" Through July 4, Noon-5 p.m., Festival Pier at Penn's Landing, Columbus Blvd. and Spring Garden St. —TP
SATURDAY-SUNDAY, JULY 2-3
If you think lumberjack sports are as outdated as lumberjack fashion, think again. The 31st annual Bark Peeler's Convention in Galeton pays tribute to all things woodsy and wise. Sponsored by the Pennsylvania Lumber Museum, the two-day festival features ax throwing, blacksmithing, basket weaving, campfire cooking and sawmill demonstrations. But wait, there's more! Contests include fiddling, frog jumping, greased-pole climbing, birling and tobacco spitting. Your citified ass can't get any more Paul Bunyan than that. 10 a.m., Route 6 between Galeton and Coudersport, 814-435-2652, www.lumbermuseum.org/ bark.html. —AH
SUNDAY, JULY 3
At this point, it's too hot to be a conscientious objector. Mayor Street spent your pool money on barricades for the library and that's that. Might as well at least try one of these new knee-scrapin', pee-slooshin', overcrowded, Desenexin' spraygrounds. Who knows? Maybe something bad will happen and you can sue the city. —PR
MONDAY, JULY 4
Phuck Philly on the Phourth! For residents determined to avoid the crowds at Elton John's July 4 concert on the steps of the Art Museum, plenty of towns outside the city are celebrating with fireworks displays and food. Downingtown's Good Neighbor Day kicks off with a run and a walk and features arts and crafts and other goodies throughout the day. Conshohocken's fireworks will go off July 3, depending on the weather, and will be followed by a soapbox derby the next day. —JP
TUESDAY, JULY 5
"Holler, it's another popped collar." In the South you can play the so-classy mullet-hunting game, and the West Coast has "Guess — is it a silicon breast?" Finally the East Coast has an equivalent pastime: Drink every time you see a popped collar. You'll need: a case of brews, a keen eye for the purposely hidden neck (courtesy of a starched upright polo collar) and a notoriously preppy event at which to spy them. Which reminds us: Today is the Dave Matthews Band concert with G. Love at the Tweeter Center. 7 p.m., Tweeter Center, 1 Harbour Blvd., Camden, N.J., $36.50-$54, www.ticketmaster.com. —KS
WEDNESDAY, JULY 6
Walk the City. From river to shimmering river, stroll the streets of Philadelphia and rediscover the downtown. Begin at Penn's Landing at Market and walk until you hit the Schuylkill River, turn south a block and head back Chestnut Street to the Delaware. Shop, tour, eat and refuel along the way. Turn two streets and 60 blocks into a full-day, summer-long activity: tackle two streets between Market and South per day. —JD
THURSDAY, JULY 7
Motor on out to the University of Pennsylvania's Morris Arboretum, near Chestnut Hill, and check out Voices of Africa, a female a cappella ensemble that also beats the drums, West Africa-style. Think Paul Simon's Graceland band, only hold the Paul Simon. It'll be hotter than hell on a fiery day, but you'll find the shade of a tall tree. And besides, the heat's what makes the music authentic. 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., $10, Morris Arboretum, 100 E. Northwestern Ave., www.morrisarboretum.com. —TP
FRIDAY, JULY 8
Taller's monthly after-party for Noche de Arte en el Barrio will transport you to rural Mexico with music and dance by famed Mono Blanco. This group plays the genuine old time Mexican country music, with the fine harmony and fancy fiddling, percussive dancing, and improvised-on-the-spot rhymes that are essential parts of the tradition. 8:30 p.m.-11 p.m., $5, 2721 N. Fifth St., 215-426-3311, www.tallerpr.org. —MA
SATURDAY, JULY 9
Hispanic Fiesta. As is usually the case, Concilio is being coy about talent for their annual event. Why spoil the surprise by returning phone calls? Their colleagues at Taller reveal, however, that Mono Blanco will be staying over from their Taller gig to play at Penn's Landing. Past years have included live salsa, merengue, bomba y plena, Andean indigenous, mariachi and ladino performances. Through July 10, Noon - 8 p.m., Penn's Landing, Columbus Blvd. and Spring Garden St., 215-922-2FUN, www.pennslandingcorp.com. —MA
By now, the Jersey shore is getting really boring, especially since the same shoobie meatheads are brawling at the same bars weekend in and weekend out. For one day, though, rowdiness isn't a fineable offense. Wake up early for once and head over to the Blackthorn Rugby Football Club Tournament at Sea Isle City's Dealy Field to watch some sanctioned roughhousing. Spend a couple hours watching rugby and trying to figure out why Americans think football is so tough before strolling over to Kix-McNutley's — the city's Khyber-esque oasis — to work on tomorrow's hangover today. 9:30 a.m., Central Ave. between 59th and 63rd sts., 609-263-0050. —H
SUNDAY, JULY 10
Tired of celebrating the Fourth of July on the fourth? Need a few more days to prepare? The residents of Easton, an hour and 20 minutes north of the city in the Lehigh Valley, have just what you're looking for. Instead of getting all hyped up about the day the Declaration of Independence was, y'know, signed or whatever, Eastonians re-enact July 8, 1776, the day the document was read aloud simultaneously in Easton, Philadelphia and Trenton. This year's Heritage Day is set for noon to 5 p.m., July 10, and features colonial-themed dancing, toy making, food and craft demos for kids. www.eastonpaonline.com. —JP
It's a sweaty hot Sunday and you're looking to perk up a lazy afternoon. The flowers and plants around the house or apartment could stand some pruning, so get to clipping, and for extra zest, do it while blasting music really loud. Classical, rock, rap, opera, whatever — just make sure to crank the volume to 11. Oh, and sing along like you mean it. —DK
MONDAY, JULY 11
Compete with your friends to see who can "do it" outdoors the most times in a day. Score as follows: 10 points per encounter with a different person; subsequent couplings with the same person get two points each. Add five points for photographic proof. All points are void if you get caught and stop; double if you get caught and keep going. Set a time limit (like 10 a.m.-3 p.m.); define "outdoors" (anyplace without walls?); and set guidelines for what constitutes the act. (After all, everybody knows outdoor oral is for wimps.) —MB
TUESDAY, JULY 12
If you're the type who goes to the movies just for the AC, then you can probably get into The Liberty Figure Skating Club for Philadelphia's Fourth Annual Liberty Summer Competition. Skaters (not sk8rs) of all levels will bring their own cassettes of "Eye of The Tiger" and flit around the Olympic-sized rink all dramatic-like. The two-day event (starting July 11) might be fun or it might be stupid, but it'll definitely be cold. The Ice Works Skating Complex, 701 W. Duttons Mill Rd., Aston, Pa., www.libertyskating.com/LibertySummer.html. —PR
WEDNESDAY, JULY 13
Visitors to the Central Pennsylvania Festival of the Arts could spend $10,000 on a painting or $10 on a handmade mug, says executive director Rick Bryant. This five-day fine arts and crafts festival at State College kicks off July 13 with a children and youth day and this year features evening performances of bluegrass and Celtic music. The 39th annual event is expected to draw 100,000 people. Philly-based musicians Deidre Flint and the Christine Havrilla Band will be there. Through July 17, State College, Pa., www.arts-festival.com —JP
Ending one of the greatest indie rock feuds of all time, J. Mascis and Lou Barlow are burying the proverbial hatchet, throwing Murph in the van, and hitting the road, reuniting the original Dinosaur Jr. lineup. Celebrating the re-release of the band's first three albums, Mascis and co. promise to make your ears bleed like it's 1991 all over again. 8 p.m., $28, Electric Factory, Seventh and Callowhill sts. —BH
THURSDAY, JULY 14
With the hipster punkers waging war against the SUV drivers for control of Center City bike lanes, much less stressful cycling can be found up Fairmount Park way. Start at the intersection of Ridge and Main in Manayunk and follow The Lincoln Drive/Forbidden Drive Bike/Hike Trail through rolling hills and secluded woods on a 15-mile loop that can be chill or challenging, depending on how much you keep to the main path. Best bet for a midtrip recharge: a cheesesteak from Bruno's when the trail ends on Northwestern Ave. —JV
FRIDAY, JULY 15
Identify your friendly neighborhood arthropods at the Urban Field Station. Last year, as part of his artist-in-residence duties for the American Philosophical Society, Mark Dion created the Station, a combination art installation and activity center for natural history buffs. Again this year, stuffed specimens, drawing materials and scientific instruments make for a interactive exhibit that's not just for fun: Two projects for visitors — rounding up the area's flowers and bugs — will help create a permanent record of Independence Park's natural life. American Philosophical Society, Jefferson Garden, 104 S. Fifth St., 215-440-3400. —LH
SATURDAY, JULY 16
Drive up the Northeast Extension to Jim Thorpe and check into the Harry Packer Mansion for their Murder Mystery Weekend; within a few hours, there will be a dead body waiting for you. And sure, you'll be too busy sifting through clues to finger a lunatic killer, but you can also check out the Tiffany windows and period furniture pieces, explore nearby antique shops, enjoy a Chateaubriand dinner, and … oh, right — hunt for a bloodthirsty killer. Prices range from $495 to $650 per couple, so make sure you bring somebody to watch your back, lest someone plunge a dagger into it. www.murdermansion.com. —DS
SUNDAY, JULY 17
Adriel Heisey takes pictures of ancient landscapes, but not the usual sunset-on-the-ziggurat postcard crap. No, this guy built himself a special plane that allows him to put on a helmet, strap himself in and take enormous overhead shots. The From Above: Images of a Storied Land exhibit (July 11-Oct. 3), and accompanying book, collects some of his most breathtaking photos from high above the American Southwest. UPenn Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology, 3260 South St., 215-898-4000, www.adrielheisey.com. —PR
MONDAY, JULY 18
Alma de Cuba's Free Tapas. Even if you can't dock in foreign ports this summer, you can simulate more frugal escapes in Center City. Just saddle up to your favorite rum and experience the taste of Cuba during the hot season with free tapas — that's Spanish for pub food — during the weekday happy hour starting at 5 p.m. The Rittenhouse hub's award-winning margaritas and mojitos head the list of exotic elixirs to beat the caliente days of summer. 1623 Walnut St., 215-988-1799, www.almadecubarestaurant.com. —NHM
TUESDAY, JULY 19
So sorry Mudvayne, Wicked Wisdom, Shadows Fall, Trivium, Arch Enemy, Soilwork, As I Lay Dying, It Dies Today and Bury your Dead. This year's winner for lamest Ozzfest band name goes to your esteemed peers in Gizmachi. Also on the bill are bands whose names we've heard so much we've forgotten how stupid they are, like Rob Zombie, Velvet Revolver and Iron Maiden. Black Sabbath fucking rule. 11 a.m., $39.75 and up, Tweeter Center, 1 Harbour Blvd., Camden, N.J., www.ozzfest.com. —PR
WEDNESDAY, JULY 20
You've rented every dirty video at the TLA, called all the she-males in the back of the CP, and stalked half the lasses on SuicideGirls.com. Get some real action this hump day by coordinating your own naughty photo shoot. Philadelphia is teeming with talented pinup models and fetish photographers (OneModelPlace.com and RetroKitten.com are good starting points to find interested parties), many of whom may be willing to trade time for prints. Think cartoonish like David LaChapelle and randy like Masuimi Max and you'll want to bid that Delilah's membership adieu. --AH
THURSDAY, JULY 21
|
FRIDAY, JULY 22
XPN's known for being ballsy, or at least they were 20 years ago, but who knew they had the psychonuts to lure their shiny happy listeners over to the Most Dangerous City In America? While Camden licks its razor sharp teeth at the prospect, the polite bottled-water-and-blanket crowd is psyched about the lineup at XPN's All About The Music Festival: Patti Smith, the Indigo Girls, Son Volt, Soulive and other Triple A hitmakers whose tour vans will get carjacked. Through July 24, $10 a day, Wiggins Park, Camden Waterfront, www.xpn.org/festival_05.php. —PR
SATURDAY, JULY 23
Kick off a weekend of racing at Pennsylvania's only bicycle racing track, Trexlertown's Lehigh Valley Velodrome — an open-air concrete oval with high-banked turns and speeds over 45 mph. Tandemonium, if you hadn't guessed, shifts the regular high-speed high-stakes velodrome program up a notch by featuring ridiculously expensive and specialized two-person rides — doubling the excitement, or at least the chance that someone will go down in a tangle of limbs and road rash. 7:30 p.m., general admission seats are $6, $8 for a reserved seat on the homestretch, www.lvvelo.org. —JB
SUNDAY, JULY 24
Grab the moonshine, trim your mullet, buy a case of Bud and sling your arm around your best honey and head to the Pennsylvania 500 at Pocono Raceway. NASCAR Nextel Cup stops by Pocono's oddly banked two and a half mile tri-oval one last time in 2005. Crude hovering around $50 a barrel? Pshaw! Just remember, there's nothing like the smell of high-octane and burnin' rubber in the morning. www.poconoraceway.com. —CV
MONDAY, JULY 25
Stage your very own Ben Franklin Scavenger Hunt. Big Ben and Philadelphia go together like lenses in a pair of bifocals. Find four statues of our city's famous founding father and have your picture taken with him (bonus points if you get a tourist to snap the shot). To get started, head to 17th and Vine sts., where the head of Franklin peers down on I-676 like the eyes of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg. —JD
TUESDAY, JULY 26
The 1980s are the new 1970s if you ask anyone who religiously attends Sex Dwarf, a decadent, gay-friendly dance party every last Tuesday of the month at Fluid. WXPN's DJ Robert Drake and DJ Pussy Galore spin electroclash and new wave favorites, along with lesser-known '80s ladies like Nina Hagen. Doors open at 10 p.m. with free admission until 11. It's a $5 cover with drink specials until midnight. 613 S. Fourth St., www.fluidnightclub.com. —NHM
WEDNESDAY, JULY 27
Edward Hopper may be best known for his contemplative paintings of early 20th century life. But delving into its own collection, the Philadelphia Museum of Art's "At the Window: Etchings by Edward Hopper" features 50 prints that Hopper, a self-taught printmaker, produced during the 1920s as an alternative to his better-known commercial work. As his first real foray into fine arts, many of the rare templates reflect what would become his most famous scenic subjects. Through July 31, $7-$10, 26th and The Parkway, 215-763-8100, www.philamuseum.org. —NHM
THURSDAY, JULY 28
The weather is getting just too damn hot. No worries! Get in the car with your family and friends and head for Dorney Park & Wildwater Kingdom in Allentown. Save the roller coasters for another day. Instead, put on that sexy bathing suit and slide down the effin waterslides! Weeeeee! Splash! Again, again! www.dorneypark.com —SO
FRIDAY, JULY 29
Think you live in a blue state? Think again. There's a professional-class rodeo less than an hour away from Center City, and it claims to be the longest-running Saturday night rodeo in the U.S. And despite the names of the featured events — tie down, team roping, bareback riding — it's nothing but wholesome steer-ropin' entertainment. If the spirit moooves you, you'll find Cowtown smack between the Delaware Memorial Bridge and Woodstown, N.J. $12 for adults, $6 for cowpokes under 12. www.cowtownrodeo.com. —DS
SATURDAY, JULY 30
The Big Bus Company's Brian Hickman is a scholar of Philadelphia history, which means he's full of facts and information about Philadelphia that you won't get from a ride on those quacking duck boats. On his Myths of Philadelphia Tour Hickman blends details about points of interest around town with an adeptness for dispelling the myths that have permeated our collective consciousness (for example, the matronly image of a white-haired Betsy Ross sewing the first American flag disregards the fact that Betsy was a 26-year-old vixen who was on her third husband in 1776). www.bigbus.co.uk/phila/html/phila_home.html. —JD
SUNDAY, JULY 31
Irish Pub Tour de Shore, from the Irish Pub at 20th and Walnut to the Irish Pub on St. James Place in Atlantic City. More than 400 bicyclists, including former Police Commissioner John Timoney, will pedal some 65 miles from a bar in Philly to a bar in A.C. all in the name of raising money for Project HOME and North Philadelphia's Honickman Learning Center. If you're not a biker, may we suggest taking the N.J. Transit train and getting to the Pub early (say 9 a.m.?) in order to get a prime spot for the ensuing revelry at the bar or on the patio. And don't get angry, MADD — return transportation is available. www.irishpubphilly.com. —H
|
MA: Mary Armstrong MB: Margaret Battistelli JB: Justin Bauer JD: Jesse Delaney DD: Deesha Dyer TF: Tami Fertig AH: Ashlea Halpern H: Brian Hickey LH: Lori Hill BH: Brian Howard HiH: Helen i-lin Hwang DK: Deni Kasrel |
NHM: Natalie Hope McDonald GM: Gabrielle Mosquera SO: Sean O'Neal TP: Trey Popp JP: Jenna Portnoy NR: Neal Ramirez PR: Patrick Rapa KS: Kate Salute JS: James Saul DS: Duane Swierczynski CV: Char Vandermeer JV: John Vettese |
What's your idea of summer fun?
"Come to Philly, park illegally and we'll tow your car. I'm joking. I'd say check out our restaurants. We have great ones. Le Bec-Fin is one of the best anywhere. Five stars. People complain about the portions, but I think they give you just enough so you're not overfull. Plus, the service is unbelievable. You'll have four or five waiters at your beck and call. There's the Ritz-Carlton, which is a nice place for an afternoon tea. And, of course, there's South Philadelphia with some of the greatest Italian restaurants in the world. But seriously: Put the car in a lot. It's the safest way. If you see a tow-away sign, I guarantee either me or one of my competitors will tow you. Call me if you have any car problems."
—Lew Blum, Lew Blum Towing
-- Respond to this article in our Forums -- click to jump there
