June 30-July 6, 2005

the bell curve

The Bell Curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Chicago-based company announces plans to open a new cancer treatment center near Juniata Park.
Plus 10

Park honoring The Stars, Philadelphia's Negro League baseball team, dedicated. USFL's Philadelphia Stars still getting all the recognition they deserve.
Plus 5

As plans for Live8 are finalized, city officials say Philly is prepared to "show its stuff." "You heard us, ladies," says Rick Mariano, "leave those bras at home!"
Even

City asks feds to declare the Parkway a no-fly zone on Saturday. "That's right," says Mariano. "Sweatpants only, fellas."
Plus 1

Parking Authority approves taxi-fare increase. In related news, Streets Department approves smoking ban, Health Department approves ethics bill, dogs approve cats, mass hysteria!
Minus 2

School district unveils expanded "gifted and accelerated" programs. Plenty of good seats still available.
Plus 5

Comcast On Demand signs deal obtaining 1,500 movies per year from the Starz Entertainment library. Prism's softcore porn stash still MIA.
Plus 1

Quoted telling fans who think hockey players are spoiled to "kiss my ass," Flyers' Jeremy Roenick says his remarks were taken out of context. Other quotes out of context include "Bobby Clarke is a douchebag" and "Mark Recchi is a poseur."
Even

Phillies' Bobby Abreu leads NL outfielders in All-Star voting. Informs Howard Eskin that his ass is also available for kissing.
Plus 2

Donovan McNabb appears in Reebok ad with Manny Ramirez, Winky Wright and 50 Cent. T.O. appears in soup line with Pete Rose, Tex Cobb and John Oates.

Even

Total pluses: 24
Total minuses: 2
This week's total: 22
Last week's total: -4