July 7-13, 2005

fine print

Hot-tern

are vegetarians allowed to ham it up? Former CP intern Liam Wilson.

by Brian Howard

We couldn't really believe it ourselves. Sure, when Dillinger Escape Plan bassist Liam Wilson, 25, was a CP music intern back in the early aughts, we all knew he was hot. That orange jacket that sidelong smirk. And we figured he was a vegetarian — he always had an excuse for not turning up to the company hunting trips and pig roasts. Turns out Wilson — whose art/speed-metal band will be playing the Gigantour with Megadeth this summer (closest Philly date is Atlantic City, Aug. 28) — is one of 143 male nominees in PETA's World's Sexiest Vegetarian online poll. Over at www.peta2.com, Wilson is pitted against the likes of Andre 3000, Casey Affleck, Chris Martin, Eddie Vedder, Ghostface Killah, Prince, Rivers Cuomo, Ted Leo and Woody Harrelson. Stiff competition for sure. We asked Wilson about his chances, and his victory plans.

City Paper: It's a pretty crowded field. Clearly you're a front-runner. Who do you see as your stiffest competition?
Liam Wilson: Definitely Jake Bannon of Converge. That dude's got neck tattoos. … I mean, that's cause enough for an instant vegasm. I've witnessed even the hardest pit bosses erupt in boners at the sight of him.

CP: Aren't you forgetting about Doug Martsch? Vegan girls love those big grizzly-bear beards.
LW: I heard he got disqualified for giving Shania Twain chicken salad or something, or am I confusing him with someone else? I've got to admit, I have more than one ex who was into said beard.

CP: Do you have a campaign slogan or maybe a stump speech?
LW: If I win, I've promised voters that I would finally convince the makers of Nutella to use a soy alternative to skim milk. Without that, the terrorists will surely win.

CP: How did your tenure as a City Paper intern prepare you for the rigors of the PETA2 WSV campaign trail?
LW: Both paths are pure clob, but since I've had my bike shock-mounted and converted to biodiesel things have been smoothing themselves out nicely.

CP: How do your bandmates feel about this? Do they think maybe it's gone to your head?
LW: They've actually been very supportive of the whole situation. Even though I'm the only veggie in the band, they've decided to follow my suggestions and change the name of the band back to Soy Division and perform Earth Crisis covers until those wads come back to their senses and have the token, post-hardcore reunion we've all been secretly petitioning for.

Visit www.peta2.com/outthere/o-sexyveg05.asp to help push Wilson to victory.