July 28-August 3, 2005

the bell curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

Arbitron ratings show that WMMR has benefited from the demise of Y100. As have we all.
Even

Counterterrorism expert says the city is "notorious for fundraising and recruitment" for terrorist organizations. Well, there was that time Abu Musab al-Zarqawi won a Pew Fellowship.
Minus 9

Biker gangs the Pagans and the Warlocks throw "Summer Sizzler" picnic together. Everything was going fine until Fred "The Ogre" Palowakski got a little too literal in the three-legged race.
Plus 3

Queen Village restaurant is sued by ASCAP because its piano/guitar duo played "That's Amore" and "I Left My Heart in San Francisco" without paying royalties. "See? See?!" says counterterrorism expert.
Minus 2

National Weather Service commercials blast Rick Santorum for trying to privatize the federal agency. Mother Nature — another single working mom getting Rick all riled up.
Plus 3

Pat Croce is considering going after one of the city's two slot-machine-parlor licenses. We can see it now: Slamball-themed slots, Croce-faced tokens, looped motivational speeches, all taped for a reality show.
Plus 3

SEPTA says it won't begin random bag searches. It will, however, maintain random service.
Even

Instead, SEPTA says it will rely on bomb-sniffing dogs. "This is an improvement," says SEPTA spokesperson, "over our bomb-humping dogs, God rest their souls."
Plus 1

City officials say the amount of exterior art being stolen from private property is on the decline. Yeah, well, all that's left is Isaiah Zagar's noodle art.
Plus 2

Total pluses: 12
Total minuses: 11
This week's total: 1
Last week's total: -3

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