July 28-August 3, 2005

music

icepack

by A.D. Amorosi

Is justice rough? Yes, yes. We felt awful about that sudden mega-flooding of NoLibs — which wetly ruined still-detailing vintage Pontiacs and more than its fair share of newly constructing brunch nooks. This is what ye golden calf-ers get for dancing so close to the devil, er, Bart Blatstein. Where's your Moses now? And if all proves just, 610 WIP dolt Angelo Cataldi, he who's created that heinous "Philadelphia Diet" of Tastykakes, cheesesteaks and scrapple to spruce his incredible shrinking ratings, will feel the wrath of those who've chosen his path. Like avid listener Sean Halligan, who's eaten from Cataldi's trough for 15 minutes of lame. Before choking on the tiny slivers of chopped lettuce from another rancid hoagie, may Halligan slice open an Angelo vein with a can of Hank's Soda. … We couldn't believe the gay-ish, not-yet-year-old Hamburger Mary's was out of business at 17th and Chestnut streets. It was always empty. How could you know it was closed? But according to www.hamburgermarysphilly.com, it's "farewell" for Mary. We hardly knew ye. No sooner does a door slam Mary's ass than another comfort food queen opens on the 1900 block of Chestnut: Devil's Alley, to be opened by Sue Schlisman in the spirit of her Sam's Grills (Wynnnewood, Jenkintown). This devil brought Michael Yeamans (a Rouge chef certainly not at peace with loopy-lu Neil Stein's decision to go into the Black Angus beef hot dog biz) and World Café Live's bar supervisor Darren Nowicki into her fold (that sounds rude) … I mean, her "urban alley" (ruder, still) … OK, her grille joint. The look: Like a fucking alley. I just told you that. … Local filmmakers scare you? While Neck Deep cinematographer Todd Bieber gives Linda Blair work, shooting his evil thriller All Is Normal near Carlisle, Pa., local producers Mark Moss, Felix Diaz and director Don Dingas shot a pulpy horror flick, Threshold, in one day/10 hours/95 setups with Peek-a-Boo Revue's Melissa Bang-Bang and five other actors covered in blood off Rit Square. "Is it a great horror concept with a new killer that'll stand the test of time?" asks Moss. "Only the edit will tell." (Filmmakers: Save your energy for Harvey Weinstein. The Miramax honcho will be heading to the Greater Philadelphia Venture Group's Mid-Atlantic Venture Conference at the Convention Center Oct. 17.) Scarier still: Y'all saw Fantastic 4. I read Variety. So deal with Delaware's Omnisoul, whose first CD not only is on the Wind Up label, their Radiohead-lite "Waiting (Save Your Life)" is on the F4 soundtrack. … Nicki Jaine is the creepiest woman I know. I so mean that in a good way, as her mournful cabaret Goth-pop is so dark and arch it makes me, a guy who still looks Edward Scissorhandsy, shudder. Yet, after touring the world within the infamous decrepitude that is Black Tape for a Blue Girl, she's formed a duet (Revue Noir) with Tapehead, Sam Rosenthal, who'll debut their unholy alliance (and eponymous three-tune EP CD) at Bar Noir Aug. 1. Boo! … To prepare you tattoo love boys for getting up in each other's grills this weekend at the Convention Center, the Psydde&Rob&Chubb team that runs Punk Rock Karaoke at the Pontiac and Phil Moore Brown will play a pre-party at Independence Brew Pub July 28. … WHOWHATWHERE: Nothing spells earth's end quite like the just-filmed Grape Street-based "celebrity" dating game show hosted by still-surviving Survivor Gervase Peterson with Doublemint Girl Pam Paone and alleged cop-slugging Phillie Jason Michaels. Yes, there is tape on this. And now you know your mission, Mr. Phelps. Yes, Backstreet Boy Howie D made appearances at Salon Rouge in Cherry Hill and Bruleé Atlantic City in the name of Lupus. Lupus deserves better. Terry McMillan has not quite gotten her groove back after finding her kept-man-turned-husband Jonathan Plummer on the down low. We hear she got all choked up while at a book signing at the Church of the Advocate, telling the good folks in attendance she wouldn't talk about his newfound gayness or their divorce. But while hanging out at Loews, she was rumored to have talked up a "shit, goddamn, mothafucker" blue streak about him. Stellllaaaaa. … Talking grassroots: Y100rocks.com's Jim McGuinn has moved his station's computers and transmitters away from his rec room and into its own nifty space past the Ninth Street Market and onto 15th and Passyunk. Atsa nize. Tom Sean of the trippy Philly trio The Black Spoons and recent b-day girl Maria Tessa Sciarrino of Plain Parade get all grassroots on you — and not in a rambling folk way — for their "Indie Night School" networking confab at the Five Spot July 28 with Heyday's Stacie George, Millcreek Tavern's Ben Morgan and R5's Sean Agnew. "There's so much mutual misunderstanding between bands and booking agents, we've found," says Tom, "[it's] a sort of unnecessarily adversarial relationship born not out of any real causes but just the fact that the two sides rarely get a chance to just sit down and chat." But if you're looking to start some necessary adversarial relationships, come to my workshop: "What Sean Agnew says about y'all behind yer backs." Siiike!