Lil' Kim reports to the Federal Detention Center on Arch Street to serve her one-year sentence. She comes prepared with a bright orange pastie.
Plus 1

Aramark is hired to handle lunches in 115 Philly schools. Kids are especially stoked for dollar dog days.
Even

Fairmount Park Commission is reconsidering its policy of closing MLK Drive to cars on weekends. "I have a dream," says commissioner. "A dream of bicyclists getting run over."
Minus 8

Liberty Medal awarded to Ukrainian President Viktor Yushchenko. At post-award reception, he orders the salad.
Plus 7

Police raid on Conshohocken warehouse turns up $1 million of marijuana. G. Love sheds a tear and tips his 40, then laps up the puddle.
Minus 1

Philly congressman Bob Brady proposes 38-cent postage stamp to raise money for hurricane relief. Very little money.
Plus 1

PGW's plan to become a hub for liquefied nitrogen gas calls for $5 million that customers could end up paying for if the project fails. Which would totally interest us if we were still paying our gas bills.
Minus 2

The Metro newspaper and SEPTA part ways. It seemed like a match made in heaven — a urine-soaked public transportation system and an ultra-absorbent throwaway paper.
Plus 1

New York man sues the now defunct Foggy Goggle bar for letting him injure himself on a mechanical bull when he was visibly drunk. Also sues his wingman for letting him "rope that hog" the same night.
Minus 1

Total pluses: 10
Total minuses: 12
This week's total: -2
Last week's total: 4