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Yes, the freshman Campus Philly Kick-Off on the Parkway was wretch-able. Stupid boys quoting Vince Vaughn ("so money," "he's all grows up") and giggling about him filming here. Little girls amok with camera phones. Four years of this and I'll be back snorting crank in no time. My consolation: The Illvibe Collective, who not only started their Sat. night at Blue Horseshoe with the kickoff after-party, but whose Skipmode dropped the very Miami bass-banging mix CD, Future Shock086. Lighters up. … South Philadelphia's Athenaeum shuttered? Thirty inhabitants of the venue/collective — beardartists who've rollerbladed to NYC, fed visiting bands like USAISAMONSTER, hosted game shows at their house — made to leave immediately? Happened over the weekend when L&I, police and firefolk shut and shoved out residents and their belongings (instruments, silk-screening implements). "They weren't up to electrical code and the building was zoned 'commercial,' not 'residential,'" says pal Sean Agnew, whose R5 Productions booked Athenaeum. While they look to Philadelphia Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts for aid, Agnew calls it, "Seriously, the coolest space I've ever had the pleasure of working with." Also closed last weekend, forever, after 13 years: DECO, the après-heures joint near Delilah's. After the "accidental" car going through its front window opening night, it was all downhill. … The confusingly named World Café Live hits one year of venue-dom Oct. 2. Some bring rocking chairs (sound guy Ben Edwards needed some for the Sanford and Son vibe set by Arrested Development); others, posies. The staff's bringing changerooni: For starters, WCL's A&R gal, Grace Park, brought goodbyes: She's off to market and book the Troc's Balcony. "It's dirtier and cooler than WCL — like me," says Park. Robin Parry, of Viva and Nostradamus renown, will oversee the WCL's loungier reinvention: "Make it a real club," says Parry about new booking, productions and looks. (Speaking of WCL: World Café magnate David Dye and twisted troubadour Kenn Kweder wound up serving jury duty for the same case, only to find Kweder making the final cut. What the hell could Dye have done to not get on that jury?!) … How gay is this: The 76ers are adding male dancers to its halftime show. OK. They're fat — or "on the chunky side" anyway. With zero dance experience. Do we have that many American Bear readers in town? For the sake of poonani: LaSara FireFox, pagan priestess and Sexy Witch authoress who'll do her "Pussy Gazing" workshop for women at Passional Friday and Saturday. … Joey Eye — local boxing promoter whose kids Vinny (already a boxer at 6) and Gianna star in Audioslave's video "Doesn't Remind Me" (shot at Blue Horizon) — has his own thing: Philly's first Spanish fight club. Check it, and Vinny, who's on the card, Sept. 30 at Diablo Fight Club, 3419 Kensington. … WHOWHATWHERE: That was the cast of Philly director Grace Peters — not people robbing the former Union 237 gallery — filming an art-hag scene for Jestour Sunday. Mark "Papale" Wahlberg was back and tipsy at Denim, tucked beer-goggly into a corner. "It's his favorite spot," one of his entourage mumbled. The National Association of Broadcasters convention spat out Al Franken and Jerry Springer in the direction of Davio's. Paige Davis sat at the bar at Villa di Roma, maybe talking up that Philly show she used to host. Jay Truth's Kulture Shop at Millcreek Tavern got a visit from Kindred (talking up In This Life Together) and Black Thought. The Real Men Wear Pink/Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer bash at Neiman Marcus Short Hills got a drive-by from E! fashionista Leon Hall and ex-QB Boomer Esiason. The Wilma's I Am My Own Wife opening got its Tony Award-winning playwright, Doug Wright, to attend. … Along with visiting Philly's Hail Social at the Knitting Factory, Fu-gee-La-La Lauryn Hill has hooked into Phil Moore Browne ever since she saw the zigaboo-gospel punks at SOB's in NYC when they played Rich Medina's Jump n' Funk party in celebration of his new CD, Celebrating the Dots. "She said she understood where we were taking our music and wanted the band to jam with her the next day," says PMB-er Daniel Thomas. "Only our keyboardist, Yung Touch, was able. But she wants to build with us, maybe do shows." See why at Dim Sum's Sept. 30 Cootie Shot party at Silk City. … Which reminds: PMB joins my Fuck Rita Fuck Katrina Red Cross benefit Oct. 3 at Bar Noir with Sherry Vine, Notekiller David First, Pig Iron Theatre's Dito and Victor, Bebek, 1812 Productions folk, Wang Newton, Carmen Martella III, and edgethespian John Lumia, whose Brand X with Bill Reim at the Fringe was the scariest spoken-evil-freak-jazz shit. Way cool since Lumia's been busy shooting a film (Head Space with Rock School director Don Argott) and developing several pilots for Showtime. "My sticking point?" says Lumia. "I want to be anchored here. If everyone whose career breaks hightails it out of Philly as soon as something good happens we'll never develop a strong, original national identity." Oy. I'm not the only Red Cross cuss: 32° hooks up Cause for Fashion with raffles and runway stuff from Smak Parlour, Vagabond, Art Star, Stitch and Me & Blue tonight. Dress up. Pay up.